my man wants me to go to a hospital...i dnt want to. i want the baby to come into this worl stress free and calm. i found this web site. even if its all agreed to do a water birth still check out this the movie "Buisiness of being born" this was a real eye opener too

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I had two hospital births and then two water births if I could go back and have my first two in the water I would. Having your baby in the water is so gentle on your body and your baby. And your baby will not drown, they don't take their first breath until they hit air. So coming out of warm water into warm water they don't know the difference and will not take a breath. I loved my water births so much. And so did my kids.
I think that most men out there (although I'm sure there are some exceptions) want their wives/partners to just "go to the hospital" because that it what our society tells them is safe. Most of these men have never looked into alternatives, nor do they care to, and they just want to "go with the flow". I would suggest you state your case to your man as to why you want to be at home/in the water. Also, ask him to keep an open mind at least until you talk to a midwife. You should both be at the interview with the midwife and let him ask any question he can think of. I've heard from friends that once their man was able to ask all the "what if ? happens" and got satisfactory answers, many more of them were onboard. Good luck!
I have to say that my husband is very anti-homebirth. This is what I wanted for this birth, as well. I've had three hospital (augmented) births. Each had a perfect outcome, healthy mom and healthy baby. He questions, "Why would you do anything different? Why would you tempt fate?" I really don't know how to answer that questions. I try to give him stats AND he's seen TBoBB with me. He still doesn't get it. I really don't expect him to, though. So, I compromised and got a CNM at a local hospital with a satisfactory section rate. I also have a CNM home midwife on-call who has seen me a few times in case I get too far into labor to make it to the hospital in time. Given that my 3rd birth was only about 2 hrs long for a 9lb+ baby, I might just end up with a homebirth after all. LOL
The Mom being strssed in a hospital situration is a horrible problem in birth. Those stress hormones are no good in the labor and birth situation. When my husband saw the stats for a low risk pregnancy, he had a big turn around, and was all about home birth.

If you do decide on home water birth, I recommend renting the REAL birthing tub so it is the right size and temp.
My husband also wanted me to have a hospital birth for our first child but after a lot of reading and discussing I convinced him that a home birth would be safe (as long as everything progressed normally). Has your husband seen the "business of being born". Perhaps give him some literature and he'll change his tune.
I can tell you my experience. I have 3 kids both my sons were born via c-section. My second son spent 3 weeks in the nicu because of that c-section. He was on a ventilator and had 6 different chest tubes. I wasn't able to hold him till he was 2 weeks old. With my daughter i decided to go through a midwife and have a home birth. My husband backed me 110%. He knew that was what i wanted to do and that it was safe. My daughter was welcomed into this world after 18 hrs of labor at home in a birthing tub on January 1, 2009 at 9:59 am. She was so calm and alert. My birth team kept me going and my doula was amazing. Home birth is something you both have to be ok with or it wont work. You need a very positive and supportive team to be able to deliver at home. One negative person can keep you from dialating and cause your labor to stall. Give him as much info as he will take and talk to him about why he thinks a hospital will be better for you. Take him to meet the midwife you choose and let her put his concerns to rest. It is an amazing experience and i can't believe how bonded my daughter and i are. It is very different than my boys and i. And i can honestly say it is because she has been with me since the moment she was welcomed into this world. She has never left my side like in a hospital where the baby disapears for hrs at a time. Good luck.
Hi Mandie, congratulations on your pregnancy and choice on birth options. I, like you was facing the same situation. I'm pregnant with my second child, a little older and determined to have an actual birth, to feel actual contractions and avoid cesarean. I had no control with my last birth and I was determined to have all the control this time around. A fried suggested that I watch the Documentary The Business Of Being Born", I was amazed, shocked, saddened, and elated all at once (add the hormones to the mix and it's an emotional party). My boyfriend was away for work so when the movie was over I called him at 1145pm to tell him this is what I want and this is going to happen. Just like our circumcision debate this was also heated (I am against he is for.... I'll get into that at a later date) I hung up in him 3 times (lol).

I am lucky that his sister, who is from the states but now lives in Finland with her husband and 4 boys who are NOT circumcised and were delivered by a Midwife, and that's how they roll in Finland hospitals.

Good luck with everything Mandie!
I encourage you, also, to interview some midwives, with your husband. Our midwife was so full of information, education, books and videos that after viewing them you couldnt think of doing it any other way. Have your husband watch as many of the videos and look at the books as well. I think he will be pleasantly surprised about how much he doesnt know. We had a home-water birth and wouldnt have wanted it any other way. Alot of people were nervous about it except us because we trusted that our midwife wouldnt put us, our baby or her career in jeapordy--if something didnt seem on track she would have recommended other accomodations. Our babies eyes were open under the water and it was just incredible. She came out all clean! Good luck with your decision.
thank you every one. hes behind me and im getting him to understand where i come from.....
Thnaks Again!!
mandie said:
thank you every one. hes behind me and im getting him to understand where i come from.....
Thnaks Again!!

thank u too....u gave me the advic ethat helped alot. ur awesome lol!!

Kevin Flack said:
Excellent Mandie!!!
when i choose to have a water birth at a birth center my husband was behind me 100% he said it was my body and he would comfort me in any way possible when the time came, this was my 1st pregnancy but i knew from the day i had kids that i wanted to have a water birth because of the atmosphere of coming out of water into warm water and then the baby taking it's first breath, it was relaxing becuase i was in warm water yes there was pain but it was manageable to me, i was only in labor for 5 hours from water breaking to birth, and i think i healed faster than any of my friends did, i was completely healed to do anything in 2 weeks yes doctors tell you to wait 6 weeks for intercourse but i listened to my body and when it happened it didnt hurt at all even though my husdband was hesitant on trying thinking it would hurt me my daughter is now 16 months and i wouldn't change anything about her birth and her being born into water doesn't seem to have harmed her in any way i was happy knowing that after she was born she would not leave my side whatsoever and we all 3 were home 4 hours after birth and i was up walking like nothing happened at all, my husband didn;t know what the difference of a hospital birth to birth center birth was but now after having his first daughter born at a hospital and having his second daughter born at the birth center he has completely changed his mind and is recommending his friends and their wives to the birth center for a water birth



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