Defiance at a year old?
So I have a 13 month old son and over the past 2 months he has been very moody, clingy, and downright stubborn, the littlest things upset him and I don't know what to do!! It seems like he is mad or upset more than he is happy which is a complete turnaround from how he was 3 or 4 months ago. Anyone else having this sort of problem? Anyone have ideas of what is going on or things that can help?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Darcel on -
He could be going through a growth spurt. It would also help if you used a different word instead of defiance. I know for me changing my words to Spirited or Curious helps me see my kids differently.
We have to remember that these are really big emotions for such small people to deal with.
He is also probably realizing he is separate from you and he is going to test it out. Sounds like he has a very strong willed personality. Both of mine are like that.
Has anything changed in the past few months? Move, job changes,, anything like that? Are pulling away from him w/out realizing it?
Whenever my children start to become more clingy instead of pulling back, I give in. I give tons more hugs and kisses, more of me. I know it can be tiring.
He could be telling you he needs even more of you.
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Permalink Reply by Samantha Johnson on -
Well the reason I say defiant is because he screams the second something doesn't go his way and he throws fits too!! It's insane, I feel like I have a 2 year old on my hands sometimes...as far as changes the only thing that happened is I lost my job so I'm home now. i do exactly what you do though, I've always been very lovey with him and when he does the fussy thing I pick him up and kiss him and goof around with him.
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Permalink Reply by Mandy Hand on -
Yes. At 13 months even though he may be walking your son is really still a baby. I went through this with mine and my friends with older kids said it's because they want to communicate but they can't talk yet, so it is frustrating and they fuss more. Mine was a huge whiner there for about a month or so after he turned one...well maybe it was two months. But now that he is almost 22 months he is much more vocal and becoming more so every day, so we understand each other much better.
I guess if I were to offer advice it would just be to try to tune in with you baby - make note of the things that make him frustrated or upset - it could be hunger, tiredness, lack of stimulation or too much. The clingy-ness comes with the territory for that age. But it is pretty short in the long run. Trust me, I've been there recently and it does get better!
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Permalink Reply by Samantha Johnson on
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That makes sense. I'll have to take note of what's going on when he gets like that. I just don't know what to do about the little fits he throws!
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Permalink Reply by Mandy Hand on
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That's just it, if you stay one step ahead of the fit you can prevent them sometimes. You will find what works if you try different things. There are good ideas and good insight on this topic in The Baby Book by the Sears family.
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Permalink Reply by Christine Chapman on -
My daughter is 14 months right now, and she also has demonstrated a streak of defiance. I did some blogging and checked in with my doctor and was told that her communication will eventually catch up. I was told to NOT get mad at the bad behaviour, but praise the good that she DOES do. So she realizes she gets what she needs when she asks/ goes about it the right now. For example, she was BITING my husband on the hand when he would pick her up (usually because she was pulling on the baby gate violently or trying to pull our cats tail). She is SO determined to be independent, that she hasn't learned patience yet or parameters of our world. So, with a positive approach and patience on MY part, she has shown signs of improvement!! Best of luck with your little one!
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Permalink Reply by Samantha Johnson on
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Thank you for your replies Christine and Jenn!! Ive been doing those things so hopefully within a short time he will get out of this!!! haha....
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