First homebirth

I am going to experience my first home birth sometime in early August!  I'm very excited!  My first son was born naturally in a hospital and my second son naturally in a birth center.  My second son is very scared of blood right now, even when he gets a simple scratch, he screams at the sight of it.  My oldest son wants to be there to experience the birth of his little sister, he is thirteen, but since his little brother has such a problem with blood, we're worried that he may not be into staying for the birth.  My youngest son, who is 5, is only comftorable staying with either us, or his older brother during the labor.  Does anyone have any suggestions as to things we could do with him ahead of time that help prepare him for the birth, so he might stick around and experience it?  My other two labors were 3 and 4 hours long (or short if you will) so I don't anticipate this labor being very much longer.  How can I (or is it even possible to know) get my youngest son to be in the room with his dad, older brother, mother and midwife during the labor and delivery of his baby sis?  Thanks for any suggestions!!!  We have already tried a few ways of getting him prepared....birth videos, talks of what to expect and this all being a very natural part of life...and so on. 

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Permalink Reply by Nicole A. Tucker, Lic. LCC on June 23, 2011 at 8:56am

Chelise,

 

Congratulations on your soon-to-be birth of your daughter.  I operate a natural wellness company that utilizes gentle, safe nature-based support to assist any challenge A to Z.  I work with flower essences, which are made by infusing flowers or other plant parts in spring water and then adding alcohol as a preservative.  If the alcohol is an issue for you, you can add the essences to hot water to evaporate it.  The essences are used internally or topically to balance emotional states.  Flower Essences go to the core issue of the emotional upset. One’s feelings, perception, and outlook about a situation, themselves and others can be effortlessly reversed to positive.  There are a number of flower essence options I can suggest, if you are interested, please feel free to email me, Nicole@WholeCreations.com.

 

p.s. you may find this option as a support for you http://www.wholecreations.com/birthprofessionalprods.html.

 

Nicole

Founder/Organic Mommy & Baby Healthcare Solutions

http://www.WholeCreations.com

Permalink Reply by Chelise Jean Mrdalj on June 25, 2011 at 7:18pm
Awesome website, thanks for sharing!!
Permalink Reply by Samantha on June 23, 2011 at 7:00pm
Well the thing is he just might not be ready for it as sad as that may be for you if he is that scared of blood it might not be a good thing for him, but you never know he might come around in his own time and want to be there and be fine=) I wish you all the best and Happy Birthing=)))
Permalink Reply by Chelise Jean Mrdalj on June 25, 2011 at 7:18pm
Thank you!!!
Permalink Reply by Theresa Evans on June 24, 2011 at 11:07pm

My son wanted to be a the delivery of one of his siblings. He was 8 at the time. When I started to get to transition he ran out of the room. We had family that watched him for us. But he said later it was hard for him to see me in pain. Although I'm not loud in labor, he obviously sensed my discomfort. But it was cute he helped me breathe through some of my contracitons. He's 13 now and I think it would be a much better experience for him. I think it's wonderful that you are including your son. But I would keep educating him and showing real births. So it won't be a shock. Maybe have him up by your head/ shoulders. So he might not see all the blood/ect.

Congrats!!!

Permalink Reply by Chelise Jean Mrdalj on June 25, 2011 at 7:17pm
We did think about having him up by my shoulders/head during the pushing part (if he still wanted to be there at that point.)  I'm hoping he'll want to stick around since my 13 year old son is very interested in watching this time.  Thank you so much for your advice!
Permalink Reply by Erin Hayden on June 25, 2011 at 9:37am
Hi Chelsea.  Congratulations and best wishes for a wonderful homebirth experience.   After having my first child in a birthing center, I opted for homebirth for my 2nd and third births.  With similar concerns about children at birth, I asked my midwife about her thoughts on the subject.  She said that kids will naturally do what feels right for them, but that generally she sees 2 & 3 year olds happy to be par of the birth, 5-7 yr. Olds often remove themselves from the scene as I intensifies, and then as children get older, their curiosity and maturity makes them more likely to stick around again.   This is exactly what I experienced with my 2 homebirths. At the 1st, my oldest, then 2, stays for the whole thing, but removed herself during the birth of her younger sister (she was 5 for the 2nd homebirth).  My middle guy, who was 3 at that birth stayed for the whole thing.  It's not a set thing, but common pattern based on developmental levels.   At both births, my oldest was free to come and go as she pleased.  You might just want to have some things set up in another room for entertainment such as coloring, play-dough, tv- whatever suits you.  I just wanted to add that my 3rd birth (2nd at home) was the longest of the 3, lasting over 12 hours and I enjoyed it the most.  I spent some time on the phone with a good friend while relaxing in my glider, and took time to bake a birthday cake (homemade w/ homemade icing).  My middle guy helped me, which made it even more special when we all sang happy birthday and shared the cake.  You might want to include your son in something like that - if you are up to it- to help relieve tension and share the feelings of joy that surround the day.   Best wishes to you and your family!  Erin
Permalink Reply by Chelise Jean Mrdalj on June 25, 2011 at 7:16pm
Wonderful ideas, thank you!!! 

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