Hi there,

Can I just ask everyone here whats the best ... and worst ... things their partners can do during childbirth?

We are having a home birth in 4 and a bit weeks (or less) and, looking forward to the delivery, I'm trying to be a rock for my wife as it;s her first kid and she is pretty nervous ... though she won't admit it. But all is well on course and seems healthy.

My problem is, I tend to lose it a bit when people I love are in pain and I want to remain calm and zen-like for her sake ... and my own.

I've been reading the books and watching the videos and going to the scans, etc. But I know from my first two kids birth's (previous relationship) that that all goes out the window when the birth pangs appear. Granted, they were hospital births and were, thank God, very, very quick and smooth, but things were out of your hands and, I confess, I fainted the first time.

So, I was wondering if you would be kind enough to give me some of your wisdom when it comes to your partners role when the fun really starts in a home birth.

And of course I'd like hints from the men folk in these here parts.

Thanks.

Ronan

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I'm glad you were safe and healthy and I would have been to the hospital at the first sign of extra bleeding too. Smart to have ambulance there. We had a homebirth and came close to transporting - hadn't thought of calling an ambulance to wait outside -I dont think they do that here in MA. Where are you?

I know a woman who bled to death 2-3 days after her birth and she was so drugged up postpartum that she didn't know how much pain she was in. She refused a transfusion at the hospital and went home and drove herself back in - new moms have no idea how much blood they are supposed to lose - i always lost a 'normal' amount and it seemed like an unbelievably huge amount. I'm glad you are being cautious even now when she is ready to take on the world again. Also know a mom who died 6 weeks postpartum but that was from heart complications she had before also- but she was alone with her two little ones more than 40 hours a week from 2 weeks postpartum on.... what is wrong with our culture ? ((I look at other cultures who have women never alone for 6 weeks plus... I understand being impatient with that and maybe only 50% of moms "NEED" it but for those that do... wish we offered that for everyone - somehow...))

Sorry for the doom and gloom stories - I taught childbirth ed so know a lot of stories - these just happened to be women that I knew!

Well - CONGRATS! You are passed the birth and immediate postpartum now! How is she feeling this week?

Your baby must be beautiful and SOOOO loved...

- Leigh in MA

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