Is it too late?
Am I too late to prepare for a Vba3c? I am about 32 weeks pregnant. This is my seventh pregnancy. I had an abortion when I was 14. It was very traumatic. Then a miscarriage at 17. Finally I had my oldest daughter at 19. After 72 hours of labor I only dilated to 6 and the doctor said she was too big. She was 9lbs. 5oz, 22 1/2 inches long, and she had a 14 1/2 inch head. After watching The Business of Being Born I realized maybe I could have had her if they would have actually let me get up and move! Oh and the cycle of pit and epidural didn't help either. Anyway, I had my second daughter two days before I turned 22. She was born 5 weeks early still 7lbs 4oz though. She had many health problems that we had to battle for the next 18 months. She had flatlined three times during that time because she had congenital heart defect. I had my third daughter at age 26. I went into labor early with her also at 32 weeks. They did an amnio to check her lung maturity twice through a two week period and put me on just about everything to stop my labor. I ended up having her at 34 weeks. She was 6lbs 6oz. She also had congenital heart defects. They healed on their own unlike my 7 year old that had to have heart surgery.
So after all that drama I have three beautiful daughters ages 9,7, and 2. Well, guess what I am having another daughter. I am seriously considering trying a Vba3c. I am scared to death though. I have had so many traumatic experiences from not only my birth but abuse that I have survived. I have a lot of anxiety and I worried that I can't possibly overcome that by the time this baby comes.
A couple things I have going for me are I quit smoking over a 1 year and 3 months ago, I have been eating a very healthy vegetarian diet for nearly a year now. With the other girls I gained at least 60 lbs each time. This time I have only gained 19 so far. I keep watching the movie Business of Being Born and other Vbac stories and I just cry and cry thinking what would that be like? After all these years I feel like I still can't say I gave birth to my girls. I always say they came out of my tummy. With my oldest it really affected our bonding I think we finally bonded when she was 2. I was also very young. My second daughter and I bonded right away. I almost lost her at 20 hours old and once I got her back I never wanted to let her go. My third daughter was not allowed to be held until she was 30 hours old. I was walking down to the nursery screaming at people to let me hold my baby. I was so angry. Then the EMT's came in with her transferring her to a hospital with a NICU and I got to touch her hand quickly through the hole of an incubator. They took her 20 minutes away. That night the doctor came in and asked me how I was feeling, and I said I wanted to leave. She discharged me. So about 26 hours after having a csection I was released and in so much pain!!! For the next 10 days we lived in a NICU.
I want a vaginal birth but how likely is it when my last two births went the way they did. I do have a hurdle or two that I need to figure out what to do. We live in Northwest Arkansas and they have a ban on Vbac's here. I don't know if any of you have heard of the Duggar's but their doctor is my doctor and I think she may be open to helping me out. The only thing that has held me back is fear of my baby being affected and not being able to overcome my fear of past traumas. I have had vaginismus for as long as I knew I had a vagina.
I am not sure if I am making any sense I am rushing through explaining this.
Anyway, is it too late for me? What do you think?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Karen M on -
I think you really need to talk to your doctor about this, the problem with multi-csec uteruses (uteri? lol) is that they can become quite fragile and the risk of rupture is higher, significantly higher after a second, probably more so after a third. How much of that is the docs "playing the safety" I don't know. If there is a ban on vbac in general, it sounds to me like the chances of you finding a midwife who would take you on sounds low, but would be worth asking some about as you don't really know until you ask.
However, I believe Michelle Duggar has had a few csec and has had vaginal births after, so maybe since your doc is the same as hers you may have more input. I believe all the Duggars use Bradley for birthing, so obviously the doc is well acquainted with drug-free births.
All I can say is ask, and research vbacs after 3 csec and see where it takes you. I do think you are allowed to push for the birth you want...but I would also take the doctor's advice seriously as well considering the past issues you've described.
Here's hoping for the best for you!
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Permalink Reply by KM on -
Great advice given by Karen M. I'd also like to suggest getting a doula to be there with you since you are anticipating your emotions running high during this delivery. Good luck and please keep in mind that changing your lifestyle as drastically as you have is an accomplishment in itself and should not be overlooked. You did a GREAT thing for your baby already!
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Permalink Reply by Mindy Hawk on
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Thank you both so much. I called my doctor yesterday and I talked with the nurse. She said it usually isn't recommended to have a Vba3c but she would talk to the doc. No word yet. I have been reading and watching videos pretty much everything I can to educate myself on this. I didn't think it was possible until a few weeks ago but other people have done it. I am very happy that I have been living a much healthier lifestyle since my youngest was born. I am in pretty good shape. Not where I want to be but up until Christmas I was walking a couple miles a day.
I think a doula is a great idea. I contacted one and she said it might be difficult to find one that would be willing to take me on. So if the doctor says I can try maybe she can point me in the right direction as far as some strong female support to help my family get through this. My husband is worried of course. He is so sweet. His biggest worry is trying to figure out what is the least risk a vba3c or 4th csection. Once again I have to put my trust in a doctor. I hope this time it proves to be the best decision!
Thank you Karen and KM for what your responses. I appreciate it greatly.
Mindy
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Permalink Reply by KM on
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Why would it be difficult to find a doula who would support you? Is it because of how far along you are in gestation? Did she mean it would be difficult to find one who could take you?
If that's the case, you can usually find people who are being certified and need to births to finish certification. Check the DONA website, www.dona.org. These people would probably be less busy and more willing to take on a birth "last minute".
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Permalink Reply by Diana Summerford on -
You may also want to find someone in your area that does Reiki or another energy healing modality. I have seen amazing result for baby and mother during birth with Reiki.
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Permalink Reply by Mandy Hand on -
Good for you Mindy for having a positive outlook on your pregnancy, and for your lifestyle changes. I am following this discussion...I don't have any advice for you really but just want to let you know someone out there is pulling for you to have the birth you want. Use this time to process through your fears about childbirth, and I'm sure that if you are able to labor and deliver it will go well for you. Line up your support now - doula, mw, etc...be very open with your doctor. It sounds like she is understanding and will listen, so that is a great start.
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