Am I too late to prepare for a Vba3c? I am about 32 weeks pregnant. This is my seventh pregnancy. I had an abortion when I was 14. It was very traumatic. Then a miscarriage at 17. Finally I had my oldest daughter at 19. After 72 hours of labor I only dilated to 6 and the doctor said she was too big. She was 9lbs. 5oz, 22 1/2 inches long, and she had a 14 1/2 inch head. After watching The Business of Being Born I realized maybe I could have had her if they would have actually let me get up and move! Oh and the cycle of pit and epidural didn't help either. Anyway, I had my second daughter two days before I turned 22. She was born 5 weeks early still 7lbs 4oz though. She had many health problems that we had to battle for the next 18 months. She had flatlined three times during that time because she had congenital heart defect. I had my third daughter at age 26. I went into labor early with her also at 32 weeks. They did an amnio to check her lung maturity twice through a two week period and put me on just about everything to stop my labor. I ended up having her at 34 weeks. She was 6lbs 6oz. She also had congenital heart defects. They healed on their own unlike my 7 year old that had to have heart surgery.
So after all that drama I have three beautiful daughters ages 9,7, and 2. Well, guess what I am having another daughter. I am seriously considering trying a Vba3c. I am scared to death though. I have had so many traumatic experiences from not only my birth but abuse that I have survived. I have a lot of anxiety and I worried that I can't possibly overcome that by the time this baby comes.
A couple things I have going for me are I quit smoking over a 1 year and 3 months ago, I have been eating a very healthy vegetarian diet for nearly a year now. With the other girls I gained at least 60 lbs each time. This time I have only gained 19 so far. I keep watching the movie Business of Being Born and other Vbac stories and I just cry and cry thinking what would that be like? After all these years I feel like I still can't say I gave birth to my girls. I always say they came out of my tummy. With my oldest it really affected our bonding I think we finally bonded when she was 2. I was also very young. My second daughter and I bonded right away. I almost lost her at 20 hours old and once I got her back I never wanted to let her go. My third daughter was not allowed to be held until she was 30 hours old. I was walking down to the nursery screaming at people to let me hold my baby. I was so angry. Then the EMT's came in with her transferring her to a hospital with a NICU and I got to touch her hand quickly through the hole of an incubator. They took her 20 minutes away. That night the doctor came in and asked me how I was feeling, and I said I wanted to leave. She discharged me. So about 26 hours after having a csection I was released and in so much pain!!! For the next 10 days we lived in a NICU.
I want a vaginal birth but how likely is it when my last two births went the way they did. I do have a hurdle or two that I need to figure out what to do. We live in Northwest Arkansas and they have a ban on Vbac's here. I don't know if any of you have heard of the Duggar's but their doctor is my doctor and I think she may be open to helping me out. The only thing that has held me back is fear of my baby being affected and not being able to overcome my fear of past traumas. I have had vaginismus for as long as I knew I had a vagina.
I am not sure if I am making any sense I am rushing through explaining this.
Anyway, is it too late for me? What do you think?