Just had to send a message to friends and family about NOT visiting after the birth...
Our baby is due Dec 14 and the moment my SIL heard we were pregnant she decided that she, her family and my FIL would come to our house for Christmas!! No invitation, she just invited herself!! They live in TX so we rarely see them. Her kids are already telling me that santa is coming to my house and making gift requests. Ugg.
We don't ever have guests for Christmas, our family tradition is to keep it intimate and quiet. My husband, daughter and I like it that way. These are a bunch of loud rednecks and the children are a mess. My FIL is an alcoholic. There is a reason why my husband left there at 18 and never really looked back.
I asked my husband to handle it, but he he hadn't yet because he thought he'd do it closer to the birth...but all I could think of was, "what if she buys plane tickets now and then it's too late to turn them away?"
So today I sent a blanket message to friends and family alike, outlining our wishes for people to delay visits for at least 8 weeks. The message was really only for her, but I didn't want to single her out and cause more drama than necessary. My friends have already responded with their thoughtfulness and understanding. Those who know the story say things like "It's crazy to think that 5 people can just take over Christmas a week after you've given birth!"
I noticed when my daughter was born, that people seem to forget their boundaries and assume that the baby is there for their amusement above all else. This will be my husbands first baby and I'm having a hard time getting him to understand this. He feels like he has boundaries with his family in place all ready...and I made the point that clearly they are already ignoring those because we've never had them to our home for the holidays.
Anyone else have experience with friends/family thinking that the baby and birth are more about them than your own family???
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Davonia on
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I'd definately keep up on making sure that they know that no visitors will be allowed. Keep saying it until they get it!
Ask your husband what he thinks if everyone comes over and you are late and end up going into labor while they are there. If you are doing a homebirth, tell him that it will be impossible for you to relax enough to have the baby. If you are going to a birth center or hospital, does he really want these people taking over and living in his house while he isn't there? Will they clean up after themselves?
Make arrangements for them to visit for "spring break" if needed just to make sure that they know that they aren't welcome in December.
HOpe it goes well... or at least not too bad...
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