Tueday night after everyone went to bed I went down stairs because I needed to clear my mind. My husband was away once again in his home away from home. My mom was here and we were packing up the rest of my stuff getting ready to move to tenn. I sat in meditation as I felt each rush like a bolt of lightning run thu my body knowing that with my attention this force would get my baby out. I wrote my husband a note with everything on my mind, then I did some riki and went to bed. As I was sleeping a could feel every rush wave thu my body. We woke up around 1030 and I then lost my mucus plug. I went to wallmart because I still needed some stuff for the birth, the rushes were getting stronger as I glided thru wallmart. It was so surreal and exciting looking at the people and thinking I'm about to have a baby, i felt like i was in another dimension. I got home and Amy the assistant midwife came over I was 4cm dilated. I got in the shower and then I got on my hands and knees, the water felt awsome. I got out and got on the elipitcal, that lasted for about 5 seconds. I wanted to get back in the water so I started the tub. Amy checked me again and I was 10cm. Karin was on her way and I really wanted her to be there for the birth so with each rush I held it in, instead of letting it work thu. She got there a half an hour later. I got out of the tub to move the baby from my back. had a few rushes on the toilet with my arms around Karins neck, looking into her eyes as she comforted me. Then I got up and we did some slow dancing, moving my hips back and forth. I was ready to get back in the tub, Amy had filled it up with fresh water and my mom had boiled some pots to make the water nice and warm. Karin was awsome, we talked about my fear of the baby comming out, I thought that something might happen and I might bleed out and die, ( I have had blood issues my whole pregnancy and the one before,, low platelets and anemia). She assured me that I was safe and to let my body do what it was ment to do, and bring the baby down. She told me get out of my head, which is something my husband tells me all the time. She worked on a visualzation with me of the dolphins on the island were my stepdad usta work. When I was pregnant with Liv I spent a lot of time out there and it was very relaxing and therapeutic. I pictured the dolphins all around me, and the painted sky, and the coral in the water. Before I knew it, I had urges to push and it felt good. during the first pushes my bag was bulging out, they said I had a good strong sac. I felt a strain and wanted to hold back, it burned and was really intense. Karin told me to let it go, and as I held onto my mothers neck, I let out a few screams and my baby came out. I started to cry and say over and over again I had my baby, I had my baby. I felt so happy and thankful. I held her on my chest and thanked karin over and over again for believing in me and alowing me the chance to have my baby at home, with my blood, alot of people wouldn't have taken the chance. My mom cut the cord and I got out of the tub. I layed on the bed and held my baby as she bobbled around for my breasts. I cryed some more out of joy and a ping of sadness wishing my husband could have been there for this awesome expericence.

Tags: karin, pugh

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