MOVIES LIKE THIS MAKE ME FEEL A LITTLE GUILTY FOR HAVING A CAESEREAN AND I THINK THAT THERE IS SOME INSENSITIVITY TO WOMEN WHO DON'T GIVE BIRTH NATURALLY BELIEVE ME I FELT LIKE LESS OF A WOMAN ENOUGH THAT I DON'T NEED THIS MOVIE TO MAKE ME EVEN MORE SO. I HAVE NARROW HIPS, AS-A-MATTER-OF-FACT NO HIPS AT ALL, PROBABLY THE ONLY HISPANIC GIRL WITH THIS PROBLEM, NO BUT SERIOUSLY, I WANTED TO HAVE MY BABY NATURALLY BUT I JUST COULDN'T OPEN UP. I SPENT TWO WHOLE DAYS IN LABOR PAINS TO OPEN UP 3 CM AND IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME. AND I WAS ACTUALLY MAD AT THE HOSPITAL FOR NOT DOING THE C-SECTION SOONER KNOWING THAT MY HIPS WERE NOT WIDE ENOUGH TO ACCOMODATE THE OPENING FOR BIRTH. AND IN MOST HOSPITALS THEY FORCE YOU TO WAIT AND SEE, ALL THE WHILE MONITORING YOUR BABY, TO SEE IF YOU CAN HAVE IT NATURALLY.

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It's so hard making decisions in the middle of labor and it sounds like you had a rough time! I loved this movie for the choices it opens up for women, but you are right, it doesn't address the emotional aspects of having a c-section. I am in awe of any woman that chooses to give birth in any way. No matter what choice you make at the moment. I don't really know your situation, but I have a suspicion that I probably would disagree with you not being able to open up (it's really not unusual to take days to get to 3cm dilation), but I wasn't there and it's your choice and your birth. I think going through a c-section after labor is just as amazing. That's tough and I'm sure you were doing what you felt was best for you and baby. So, I hope you do view yourself just as much a woman and mother as any other mom. And I hope you have been able to heal and find peace with what happened.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR THOUGHTFULNESS
Rachel Leavitt said:
It's so hard making decisions in the middle of labor and it sounds like you had a rough time! I loved this movie for the choices it opens up for women, but you are right, it doesn't address the emotional aspects of having a c-section. I am in awe of any woman that chooses to give birth in any way. No matter what choice you make at the moment. I don't really know your situation, but I have a suspicion that I probably would disagree with you not being able to open up (it's really not unusual to take days to get to 3cm dilation), but I wasn't there and it's your choice and your birth. I think going through a c-section after labor is just as amazing. That's tough and I'm sure you were doing what you felt was best for you and baby. So, I hope you do view yourself just as much a woman and mother as any other mom. And I hope you have been able to heal and find peace with what happened.
I don't think that Ricki and Abby intended to make women feel guilty for having C-sections or having an epidural. Rather, it seems so many women are not fully informed about their options, and many OBs rush women into C-sections when they are not needed. My take on the movie was that the filmmakers wanted to present women with education and information from a perspective that's rarely shared. You should not feel guilty or inadequate. You did what was best for you and your baby. It's interesting that you feel this way because after I told my friend who had a C-section about the movie, she launched into a 5-minute angry diatribe about why she'd needed one and how I shouldn't judge her. Yet I was merely presenting information. I think we women are too hard on ourselves when it comes to our bodies and pregnancy and childbirth. Fact of the matter is, you carried a child for nine months in your belly, and you are probably a fabulous mother, and for all of that you should be proud.
Something I'd like to add is that we all do the best we can with the information we have at the time. Sometimes that sounds like a cliche, but we have to remember we all make decisions that we feel are best for us and our babies. If you feel the cesearean was necessary, then you have nothing to feel bad about. I, too, had a very necessary cesearean (for placenta abruption) and although I wish it didn't happen, I know that that's how my son had to be born. I then went on to have two natural births (VBACs) and had spectacular experiences. I have friends who chose a repeat c-section and for them that was best, although its not what I would have chosen. I think as long as you are satisfied that you have all the information you need to make decisions, whichever you choose will be YOUR best birth!

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