Need birthing help in Alabama and was cheated on mine!!

I saw the movie was in shock over how we are treated through the medical field. I have had 2 c-sections not by choice but feel very cheated on my birthing experience. The first was a scheduled induction I was due on the 23rd and scheduled on the 25th. I was new to this and figured they knew what they were doing. They started a IV and potosin (mispelled I know) soon after I arrived. I was in and out sleep until I hit 3cm then I thought I was going to die. They started the epi and for the next several hours little progression. I went to the hospital at 3 pm sunday and the following monday at 5:45 she was born through c-section. I was tired and made sure she was healthy. I didn't see her what seemed like forever until it was time to nurse her. I didn't have this over whelming feeling of a connection for her. I never cried or felt love from the moment I saw her. I was in crying days after thinking something is seriously wrong with me and I must be the worst mom on the planet. Then I learned I believe from your movie which I could be wrong, that my body didn't release a hormone that makes mothers and babies bond since i didn't have her vaginally. I felt like a ton of bricks lifted off of me. I started bonding with her more and being there too for her. I heard this before I saw the movie from a message board but this sort of made it real. With my second I REFUSED to give into a scheduled c-section and induction. I walked and walked to get him to come out. I lied to my ob and said I didn't know when my last period was so they did a ultrasound and said I was due about 5 days later then I really was suppose to. I was trying to give this kid a chance. I was due july 30th and I kept pushing my Dr. to let him stay until he was ready. They scheduled me a c-section on the 12th of Aug. at wee hours. On the 11th I lost my mucus plug and I was so happy and the pain started to kick in and it got stronger and stronger. We went to the hospital and the said I was 1.5 cm dilated which this pain felt worse then with my daughter. At 3cm they put the epi in again. and I was progressing much faster and more with him I was moving along. When I got to 5 I stalked again it was about midnight at this point. The nurses in both births said they had to keep moving the monitor b/c their heart rate was dropping. At about 5 am they told they were going to do another c-section which is the time I was scheduled for. He was born cone headed. I made myself bond with him and that is why I never got all emotional this time around. I was so upset that I had another c-section and i feel my chances of having a vaginal birth went out the window. I want 2 more and I always pictured them laying the baby on my chest. When I hear other women who use my Dr who say they had them vaginal I feel cheated! He is awesome and I love him and he went above the call(what i hear) then other Dr. in the area. I feel some of it is my fault too I don't have strong abilities to get through pain. PMS kills me too. I felt if I was strong maybe it would be different. I feel c-section is my only choice now and then since I am a weak one. I hear all these stories and wish that was me but I hope my daughter can have a better birthing experience one day then I did. If anyone knows anything I can try for #3 PLEASE let me know!

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