I know there are a couple topics on here related to PPH. One woman asked about ways to prevent it, which I was interested in learning, too. Now, I am wondering if anyone can share their own experiences with PPH in the home birth setting.

I am contemplating having a home birth with a CNM. I've reached the point where I can commit to having the birth at home with 95% of my mind. But there's a nagging 5% that I can't get over. I had a pretty bad hemorrhage with my first (which was in a hospital). I required two drugs and an internal massage to control the flow.  I have already talked to the MW I'm considering about this, and she doesn't think I have any more risk of it happening again this time. She also seemed to think it could have been caused by a full bladder (I couldn't pee to save my life while in labor), so she reassured me that there's no reason to expect that to happen again (she could cath me if I need to be this next time).

I feel confident in her skills, but part of my anxiety is that she won't make it to the birth---that I will have a backup that perhaps can't administer Pit or IV fluids (if I need them). Even with the MW that I love, I still wake up at night worrying that I'll just bleed too quickly for her and the attendant to handle it. I am sure part of this is just pregnancy induced anxiety, but it is something that will affect my birth if I can't get over it.

So what I am wondering is if any of you hemorrhaged badly during your home births. How did your midwife handle the bleeding? Has it made you fear having another home birth? Particularly, I would love to find out if anyone had PPH with a hospital birth and one at home. Could you compare the experiences for me? Did you feel that it was treated appropriately in both environments?

Sorry for all the questions. I REALLY want a home birth, but this fear is seriously taking a hold on me. Sometimes, I think I'd have less chance of bleeding at home (due to the midwifery model of care). But then I lay awake at night imagining bleeding to death in my own home. Really hope to hear some encouraging stories about dealing with this issue. Thanks!

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