UPDATE #2 (I DID IT!!!!!!!!): Need to Vent, Having a Natural Hospital Birth

Hello Ladies,

Just needed a little bit of support and encouragment I guess. I am currently 23 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child, however it's almost like my first all over again because this is my first time having a natural childbirth. My first son was induced and I had an epidural with my second son. On a side note I actually didn't know I was in labor with my second son. Since my first labor was induced I didn't know what it felt like to labor naturally. The night before he was born I started to have what I thought was an upset stomach, lol! I went to sleep that night, woke up the next morning with my "stomach ache" not knowing what was going on until I went to the bathroom and saw a toilet full of blood (sorry if that was too graphic). Anyway, I went to the hospital and by the time I got there I was 4 cm dilated and 90% effaced. At 7 cm I was given an epidural even though I told the nurses I was ok. I did NOT like the feeling of being medicated, not to mention the IV and process of getting the epidural. I knew there had to be a better way, so I began doing research. That's when I learned of the many benefits of natural childbirth. It never dawned on me before that I DO have options and I DO have a say in how my children are born.

 

But here is the problem, I would really love to have a midwife. That would be my dream! But unfortunately I live in a state where midwives cannot practice legally. I also wanted to get a doula but my husband was not on board for that. He feels like we can handle it on our own. We told our doctor on our last appointment that we intend to go natural. She took it pretty well. The only thing that bothered me is that she didn't want to look at our birth plan. Our hospital actually offers the option to have a water labor. They also provide birth balls and a squat bar for pushing, so that made me feel a little better. I guess I'm just a little apprehensive about having the support I need. I know my husband supports me, but he has yet to read any of the books I ordered. Oh, and I also wanted to take a Bradley class, but the closest one is 2 hours away in another city. Has anyone on here had a natural childbirth in a hospital, no midwife or doula? I know in my heart that I can do this. But sometimes those little  what if's try to pop up into my mind. Any suggestions, support, and encouragement anyone has to offer is welcomed and much needed. Thanks!

 

 

 

UPDATE: I just want to say thanks to everyone for your responses. I almost got "suckered" into being induced on this Monday (which is my due date). I really didn't want to do it but then I started thinking that maybe it was for my baby's health. After a long talk with my husband he convinced me that it wasn't necessary and we should just stick to our plan and give our son more time. I'm happy to stick to my guns but I'm also a little disappointed about having to wait to hold my little one in my arms. As of my last dr's appointment yesterday I was only 2 cm. I"ll be 40 weeks Sunday and it just doesn't seem like I"m making any progress. I'm a bit discouraged and trying not to get depressed. I don't feel like I'm getting the proper encouragement from my husband either to keep going. Has anyone ever had to go past their due date to get the birth they wanted? Any words of advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated right now. Thanks for giving me an outlet to vent my frustrations.

 

 

UPDATE#2:  Thanks once again to everyone who responded and offered their support and encouragement. I am SO very proud to say that I had my very first natural childbirth experience and I would not have had it any other way!! My little one was born on June 14th, a day after his due date. I actually went into labor around 11:30 PM the night before. I had a feeling I was in labor but I wasn't sure, so I played some Mahjongg until I got tired and then I went to bed and attempted to get some sleep. Throughout the night I was a bit uncomfortable so I didn't really sleep much. The next morning I noticed that my contractions went from being about 10 to 15 mins apart the night before to about 5 to 7 mins. I called my doctor's office and was advised to come in to get checked. When I got there she told me that I was at 3.5 cm and 40% effaced. She said that I could either go walk for a while and come back or I could go straight to labor and delivery. I think I was so excited at the idea of being in labor that I opted to go to labor and delivery. That was around 10:30 the morning of the 14th and my son was born at 11:00 that night!

 

I think what surprised me the most was that the pain wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Contractions with Pitocin hurt way worse! I had opted to have a water labor, so the nurses kept asking me "would you like to get in the tub now?", and each time I told them that I'd wait because I kept expecting the pain to get worse, but it never really did. What helped me the most was walking. I walked pretty much the whole time except for when I had to get on the EFM. Things didn't really get intense until about an hour and a half before I started pushing. The contractions REALLY started coming, but I wasn't checked the whole day so I didn't know how dilated I was. Right before I started pushing I went to the bathroom because I thought I had to do #2, and as it happened a nurse was passing by and heard me groaning in my room and came in to check on me as I was on the toilet. I told her that I felt like I needed to use it, and she told me to wait so she could check me.  She had a feeling it was time to push, and sure enough when she checked me I was at 7 cm. It seemed that right after she checked me I got a really intense urge to push and she told me to go right ahead and she'd call the doctor in. From there everything is a blur, it happened so quickly. I got on the bed and pushed about 3 or 4 times and he was out! Another surprise was that the pushing wasn't painful. It just felt like I was constipated and taking a good dump :)

 

I also have to give the hospital staff kudos because they were very supportive of my natural birth. The nurses weren't pushy and I wasn't offered any drugs. They gave me my space to manage my pain the way I saw fit. It was truly a stress free experience, I loved it. And my husband did a WONDERFUL job. I couldn't have made it without him! So thanks again to everyone. I'm so glad I saw the Business of Being Born. It truly changed my outlook on what birth is all about.

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No problem at all! I'm glad to hear that it has helped you also. It's a shame that some of our choices are limited the way that they are, but good advice helps make things easier. I'll be 34 weeks on Sunday so I'll be sure to keep you informed. Congratulations on your bundle of joy as well!
It can never hurt to get in touch with a doula in your area and talk with her and your hubby he might change his mind after talking to someone,Or check out DONA.org Doulas are not only there for you but for hubbys and partners as well they are there to give you both support and help. Just a thought=))
I had 2 natural births in the hospital. The first one, I had a doula with me and the second one I basically labored at home and by the time I reached the hospital, I was 10 cm and ready to push. I honestly believe that if you have it in your heart to go natural....you will. You'll find other coping mechanisms within. Labor was just that.....labor, but the end result was my beautiful baby. Stay strong and keep your doctor on board with your plans. I did find my doula to be of GREAT help with my first being I had no idea what to expect it what I was doing. She also was with me, massaging me with every contraction until my little guy was born. Second time around, my husband did great filling her shoes. 
I had 2 natural births in the hospital. The first one, I had a doula with me and the second one I basically labored at home and by the time I reached the hospital, I was 10 cm and ready to push. I honestly believe that if you have it in your heart to go natural....you will. You'll find other coping mechanisms within. Labor was just that.....labor, but the end result was my beautiful baby. Stay strong and keep your doctor on board with your plans. I did find my doula to be of GREAT help with my first being I had no idea what to expect it what I was doing. She also was with me, massaging me with every contraction until my little guy was born. Second time around, my husband did great filling her shoes. 
Wow that's so encouraging! I most definitely have my mind made up. My family members think I'm crazy but I don't care. Yes it might be painful, but it's temporary and for a great cause which is a wonderful, healthy little baby!
Wow your story could be me - well almost anyway :)  I really really love Hypnobabies (which you would need to start soon) because you can go it at home and it doesn't cost as much as classes usually cost.  The most important thing is that your husband is on board 100% and your doctor is really OK with it - not just telling you what you want to hear for now.  My husband wouldn't read any books either; nor did he see the point in a doula (sigh).  One thing I did have going for me at both births was a CNM who was extremely wonderful.  Even on natural birth #2 in the hospital, at one point I was mumbling something about - "Get my epidural now!" and she just calmly told me I was doing great, etc. until the rant passed, which it did.  This time I also had my sister-in-law (one of my closest friends) with me.  She thinks I'm nuts to go it natural, but was there by my side with cold washcloths to my face and neck nonetheless.  There is something to be said about having another woman there with you, but you may just have to be ready to tell your husband what you need (It is kind of like they don't often intutively know how to help around the house - you have to tell them and then they're more than willing to help)  I have had friends who have had great experiences with OBGYNs at hospitals as well.  One important thing is to not be afraid to ask to be given a different nurse if you feel like the one assigned to you makes you feel uncomfortable (aka - she isn't supportive).  That is where your husband can come in.  You can do it and you will do great!  Read, read, read - educate yourself and be prepared. 
Thanks so much! I'm glad to hear that you had such a positive experience. I'll be 37 weeks this Sunday and as badly as I want a natural birth I almost begged my doctor to induce me now! :) Of course she said NO! My husband also told her "she doesn't mean it". I have to say he has been very supportive and has even begun reading some books (yea!!!). The closer I get though the more nervous I've been feeling. So your advice is right on time!
I just want to say thanks to everyone for your responses. I almost got "suckered" into being induced on this Monday (which is my due date). I really didn't want to do it but then I started thinking that maybe it was for my baby's health. After a long talk with my husband he convinced me that it wasn't necessary and we should just stick to our plan and give our son more time. I'm happy to stick to my guns but I'm also a little disappointed about having to wait to hold my little one in my arms. As of my last dr's appointment yesterday I was only 2 cm. I"ll be 40 weeks Sunday and it just doesn't seem like I"m making any progress. I'm a bit discouraged and trying not to get depressed. I don't feel like I'm getting the proper encouragement from my husband either to keep going. Has anyone ever had to go past their due date to get the birth they wanted? Any words of advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated right now. Thanks for giving me an outlet to vent my frustrations.

I hope you've given birth by now, but if not, please keep sticking with your desire to birth naturally unless there's a medical indication to be induced (NOT because you're "overdue"). Two moms in my Hypnobabies class went over their due dates, one by two weeks and another by almost three weeks...the mom who went three weeks over still had the homebirth she wanted. Sorry your husband isn't as supportive as you'd like...but your baby will come when he's ready!

Did you give birth?  You can speak to your baby and encourage him/her into the world.  Trust your intuition as to what is necessary.  Be still and listen.  If you decide that you would like a gentle approach to encourage the arrival, research Reflexology and find out if there is a qualified Reflexologist in your town.

 

Take care,

Nicole

Founder/Organic Mommy & Baby Healthcare Solutions

http://www.WholeCreations.com

 

Dont get discouraged.  I had a few days of contractions before I made any progress.  The baby will come when it is ready. 

I have a friend who had a baby this week.  She was getting very uncomfertable but she didnt want an induction so she started doing all of the things that may help induce labor.  She drank the raspberry tea, walked (alot), and had lots of sex.  She made a little progress, to 3 cm, and had her midwife strip her membraines.  She had some contractions for two days, but nothing painfull and finally she went into labor.  From start to finish it was 6 hours and everything went great.  It was the natural hospital we all dream about and I think it was because she didnt get discouraged and she stuck to her guns. 

Things are going to be fine, just know that you have all of the women on this sight to support you. 

You can definitely do it! I had my second child in February and she was a water birth. Being in the shower and tub helped me out so much during labor. I had an epidural for my first child and so I had many what if thoughts prior to labor! I think the mental preparations are a big part of it, you know what you want to do and once it starts just use the techniques for relaxation and let your body do what it is meant to do.
Get your husband familiar with the stage of labor, I think tre best way to get a natural birth in the hospital is to labor at home as long as you can, depending on how long your drive is of course.
I attended a Bradley class and some of my classmates went over their due dates by at least a week and everything was alright. I believe their doctors did some extra monitoring to check the babies but they wanted until the baby was ready.
I wish you the best and hope you have a wonderful birth!

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