UPDATE #2 (I DID IT!!!!!!!!): Need to Vent, Having a Natural Hospital Birth

Hello Ladies,

Just needed a little bit of support and encouragment I guess. I am currently 23 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child, however it's almost like my first all over again because this is my first time having a natural childbirth. My first son was induced and I had an epidural with my second son. On a side note I actually didn't know I was in labor with my second son. Since my first labor was induced I didn't know what it felt like to labor naturally. The night before he was born I started to have what I thought was an upset stomach, lol! I went to sleep that night, woke up the next morning with my "stomach ache" not knowing what was going on until I went to the bathroom and saw a toilet full of blood (sorry if that was too graphic). Anyway, I went to the hospital and by the time I got there I was 4 cm dilated and 90% effaced. At 7 cm I was given an epidural even though I told the nurses I was ok. I did NOT like the feeling of being medicated, not to mention the IV and process of getting the epidural. I knew there had to be a better way, so I began doing research. That's when I learned of the many benefits of natural childbirth. It never dawned on me before that I DO have options and I DO have a say in how my children are born.

 

But here is the problem, I would really love to have a midwife. That would be my dream! But unfortunately I live in a state where midwives cannot practice legally. I also wanted to get a doula but my husband was not on board for that. He feels like we can handle it on our own. We told our doctor on our last appointment that we intend to go natural. She took it pretty well. The only thing that bothered me is that she didn't want to look at our birth plan. Our hospital actually offers the option to have a water labor. They also provide birth balls and a squat bar for pushing, so that made me feel a little better. I guess I'm just a little apprehensive about having the support I need. I know my husband supports me, but he has yet to read any of the books I ordered. Oh, and I also wanted to take a Bradley class, but the closest one is 2 hours away in another city. Has anyone on here had a natural childbirth in a hospital, no midwife or doula? I know in my heart that I can do this. But sometimes those little  what if's try to pop up into my mind. Any suggestions, support, and encouragement anyone has to offer is welcomed and much needed. Thanks!

 

 

 

UPDATE: I just want to say thanks to everyone for your responses. I almost got "suckered" into being induced on this Monday (which is my due date). I really didn't want to do it but then I started thinking that maybe it was for my baby's health. After a long talk with my husband he convinced me that it wasn't necessary and we should just stick to our plan and give our son more time. I'm happy to stick to my guns but I'm also a little disappointed about having to wait to hold my little one in my arms. As of my last dr's appointment yesterday I was only 2 cm. I"ll be 40 weeks Sunday and it just doesn't seem like I"m making any progress. I'm a bit discouraged and trying not to get depressed. I don't feel like I'm getting the proper encouragement from my husband either to keep going. Has anyone ever had to go past their due date to get the birth they wanted? Any words of advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated right now. Thanks for giving me an outlet to vent my frustrations.

 

 

UPDATE#2:  Thanks once again to everyone who responded and offered their support and encouragement. I am SO very proud to say that I had my very first natural childbirth experience and I would not have had it any other way!! My little one was born on June 14th, a day after his due date. I actually went into labor around 11:30 PM the night before. I had a feeling I was in labor but I wasn't sure, so I played some Mahjongg until I got tired and then I went to bed and attempted to get some sleep. Throughout the night I was a bit uncomfortable so I didn't really sleep much. The next morning I noticed that my contractions went from being about 10 to 15 mins apart the night before to about 5 to 7 mins. I called my doctor's office and was advised to come in to get checked. When I got there she told me that I was at 3.5 cm and 40% effaced. She said that I could either go walk for a while and come back or I could go straight to labor and delivery. I think I was so excited at the idea of being in labor that I opted to go to labor and delivery. That was around 10:30 the morning of the 14th and my son was born at 11:00 that night!

 

I think what surprised me the most was that the pain wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Contractions with Pitocin hurt way worse! I had opted to have a water labor, so the nurses kept asking me "would you like to get in the tub now?", and each time I told them that I'd wait because I kept expecting the pain to get worse, but it never really did. What helped me the most was walking. I walked pretty much the whole time except for when I had to get on the EFM. Things didn't really get intense until about an hour and a half before I started pushing. The contractions REALLY started coming, but I wasn't checked the whole day so I didn't know how dilated I was. Right before I started pushing I went to the bathroom because I thought I had to do #2, and as it happened a nurse was passing by and heard me groaning in my room and came in to check on me as I was on the toilet. I told her that I felt like I needed to use it, and she told me to wait so she could check me.  She had a feeling it was time to push, and sure enough when she checked me I was at 7 cm. It seemed that right after she checked me I got a really intense urge to push and she told me to go right ahead and she'd call the doctor in. From there everything is a blur, it happened so quickly. I got on the bed and pushed about 3 or 4 times and he was out! Another surprise was that the pushing wasn't painful. It just felt like I was constipated and taking a good dump :)

 

I also have to give the hospital staff kudos because they were very supportive of my natural birth. The nurses weren't pushy and I wasn't offered any drugs. They gave me my space to manage my pain the way I saw fit. It was truly a stress free experience, I loved it. And my husband did a WONDERFUL job. I couldn't have made it without him! So thanks again to everyone. I'm so glad I saw the Business of Being Born. It truly changed my outlook on what birth is all about.

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I had a natural birth with midwives, so I can't speak from experience, and I haven't read all of the comments, but the one suggestion I've got is that you CAN do it without a midwife, but you NEED to have a firm, solid birth plan (which is sounds like you have), and you NEED someone who is willing to fight tooth and nail with the hospital staff to see that it's adhered to.  That's often what a doula does, is go to bat for her client (from what I understand).  Now, if your husband is up for the task, then make him do it (since he's saying no to the doula).  If he won't do it, get a friend or relative to be there to do it.  But I know for myself, I wither when under pressure, which is the big reason I went the midwife route (and I feel very lucky to have had that option).  So if I had had to do it the way it sounds like your'e stuck with, I'd have hired a doula, I don't care what the cost.  Good luck!  And don't forget, you CAN do this!!

I am so happy to hear that things went well. 

Congratulations on your new little one and a great natural delivery.

Hi all! I am a 33 yo mother of 4, soon to be 5!. Not only did I have a natural birth with all 4 of my children, minus on child whom I recieved some Nubane (I think thats what it was) that only took the edge off, allowing me to be a little more pleasant to guests in the room. I also 'free-birthed' my last, i.e. had her at home in my tub w/o assistance from anyone from my husband. This was the result of being without insurance (despite both of us being emplyed and having MA degrees), but then also a decision based on my own reading/ research to attempt to make the best decision for myself and my child; despite what other may have thought. I had two children induced and one that came on her own, all delivered in the hospital. The first induced one was only days late but the OB told us she would be on call and so we did not know better and went for the induction .. wow were those contractions strong! But no pain meds as figured many mothers got through it so I could. The second came on her own 10 days late, quick progress, no real drama with her. The third was also induced as 8 days late, took the nubane as father was in the room and guy was fixing a light in my room and these things were adding to the pain of the Pitocin and couldnt take much more; felt cheated that I gave in and it did not even help the pain!  My 4th was due 7/27 I believe or even 8/3 depending on my 5 week cycle, and arrived 8/21! as would not let them induce me without medical reason, was being checked twice a week at that point and did agree at 4 weeks to allow induction, so thankful she came just before that. I birthed her in the bathtub, 3 hours active labor, 3 minutes or less of time for her to come out on her own.. in squatting, open pelvic position >> I did NOT push, I allowed the contractions to push her out and WOW 10lbs 5oz and she just kind of came out!! sounds crazy but gives great support to the power of a womens body and the importance of education about position and inner intuition!! Now with my 5th one coming (which to tell all CONDOMS ARE NOT 100%!), I struggle with the idea of the hospital just to avoid the drama again (long story) especially after watching this film and Pregnant In America; I will be interviewing two area midwives that deliver at home >> very luck to have found them this time around :)

 

 

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