Utterly Discouraged

Hi, my name is Jessica. I am finally expecting my 3rd baby due the beginning of August. I just had my first check up with my OB.(who delivered my other 2 via c-section) I asked him about a VBA2C being possible in this delivery because its been almost 4 years since my last pregnancy. He flat out told me that it most likely wont happen, saying that the scar can prevent me from dilating and effacing. I left my appointment completely hopeless that I'm destined for another painful, exhausting, risky c-section. I'm looking to change providers, get a doula and midwife that believes in me, but when I look on the Internet I get discouraged because I don't know what to look for and what to ask. I would love some advice and anything else anyone has for me. Thank you :)

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Permalink Reply by Rachel J. on January 6, 2013 at 5:41pm

{Hugs!}  I'm sorry that your OB was less than supportive and your conversation with him left you so discouraged and scared.  I'm not sure what he meant about your scar preventing you from dilating and effacing.  A c-section scar is in the uterus and not the cervix (except maybe a very rare and unusual situation?) and doesn't have any influence on dilation and effacement.  That statement does, however, tell you that he doesn't support VBAC.

Here's a post my ICAN chapter co-leader wrote about finding a VBAC supportive care provider. http://childbirthinchattanooga.com/2012/11/14/vbac-moms-need-to-swi...

And speaking of ICAN, see if you can find a chapter nearby.  Even if you can't attend meetings (although I strongly encourage you to try if there's one within driving distance) a local leader can help point you in the direction of care providers who are known to support VBAC and can also give you some encouragement.  Meeting with other moms who are planning VBACs, have had successful VBACs, and understand why this matters to you can be invaluable.  They are currently revamping their website so if you have any trouble navigating you can just contact the first available person on there and let them know what you're looking for and they'll help you out :)  www.ican-online.org

Here are some questions to ask a care provider when looking for a new one.  The rest of VBACfacts.com is great, too.  http://vbacfacts.com/2009/06/06/interviewing-care-providers-questio...

I hope that helps!

 

 

Permalink Reply by Jessica on January 6, 2013 at 9:01pm
Thank you so much Rachel, I'm so glad I can come to this sight and not long get help but also get the emotional support, reassurance, and positive reinforcement I've needed. You have no idea how much peace you've brought to me by giving me this information. :) Thank you, this helps out tremendously.
Permalink Reply by Rachel J. on January 9, 2013 at 10:56am

Just wanted to let you know that ICAN will be having an online support meeting for anyone, but especially for those women who can't make it to a IRL meeting for whatever reason.  It's going to be Tuesday, January 15th at 8:00 pm (CST)  Here's the link for more info and to sign up.

http://intlcesarean.enterthemeeting.com/m/EHDMBQED

Permalink Reply by Jessica on January 9, 2013 at 2:33pm
Awesome! Thank you so much :)
Permalink Reply by Sheridan Ripley on January 8, 2013 at 10:22am

I am sorry your care provider wasn't supportive.  It is possible to have a VBA2C, I attended one as a doula.  http://enjoybirth.com/blog/2011/08/24/baby-born-vaginally-after-2-c...

I suggest contacting your local ICAN group www.ican-online.org to find a supportive care provider in your area.

Hugs,

Sheridan

Permalink Reply by patricia hudy on February 2, 2013 at 8:45pm
I am so sorry to hear that you have had some stress and little support. My prayers go out to you and your family.
Permalink Reply by Marci For Birth Choice on February 22, 2013 at 11:45am

You can definitely have a VBA2C!

BUT you won't likely get it with an unsupportive provider. It's best to face the fact that your current careprovider is not vbac friendly and find a new one so you can have a real shot at VBA2C.

 

Good luck finding a new careprovider! Persevere - a vbac is worth it :). I had my HBAC January 1st this year, and it was amazing and worth all the effort. So empowering and peaceful :).  I hope you do indeed get your VBAC :)

Permalink Reply by Nicole A. Tucker, Lic. LCC on March 9, 2013 at 4:41pm

Dear Jessica,

 

You are free to get other medical opinions and gain supporters to assist you to safely give birth.  My clients have benefited from different gentle wellness approaches, such as applying essential oils on the incision to assist repair and aid in decreasing rupture during childbirth.  Through research and education you can learn of the many healthy options available to assist you.

 

Stay empowered,

Nicole 

Permalink Reply by Jessica on March 25, 2013 at 2:20pm
Update on my situation: I feel even more discouraged because I can't find any midwives or OB's in my insurance policy that'll take me and that will even give me the chance to do a VBA2C because of the "risks". I feel hopeless at this point, I feel another c-section is inevitable because so far every medical dr looks at me like I'm a broken piece of equipment that can't do one of the functions I was made to be able to do, when they are the reason I'm broken in the first place. Because of their impatience, intervening mind thought they are trained to think is the right and "safe" way things are done.
Permalink Reply by Jessica on June 4, 2013 at 2:10pm
Update: so I went to the lady's of ICAN in my area and voiced my frustrations, these woman were and have been extremely helpful. :) they helped me find a doctor that supports my choice to VBAC. He is out of my insurance network but so far is exceeding all my expectations. I'm currently taking Bradley Method classes because I feel to up my chances of a successful VBAC why not cut out the drugs that can possibly cause complications. So I'm not only going to try and VBAC but naturally too. I'll update you and let you know how it goes. I'm so excited. :D
Permalink Reply by Rachel J. on June 8, 2013 at 8:22am

Jessica, that's so wonderful that you've found good support through the ladies at ICAN and a supportive doctor as well.  It sounds like you're doing all the right things to give yourself the best possible chance at having the birth you want.  Have you looked into doulas?  Having that continuous emotional and physical support throughout your labor for both you and your partner, as well as someone who knows the ins and outs of your hospital to let you make the best decisions for you and your baby can be a huge help as well.  I'm an ICAN chapter leader and doula and I hear repeatedly from my clients and other ladies who come to our meetings that having a doula helped in so many ways before and during their labor, making suggestions and giving support they didn't even know they needed.  For instance, I can tell my clients about the telemetry monitoring available that they otherwise wouldn't know about because the hospital doesn't really offer it unless asked for.  I can show family members how to better provide back pressure so that she's not just asking for me, lol, I can ask mom if she'd like to get in the shower, have her fluids and IV unhooked from the saline lock after antibiotics are in, etc.  All things that she and her partner(s) aren't aware of or just aren't thinking about at the moment.  Lots of these are just little things that make the mom feel more comfortable and in control of her birth.  Others can really improve the outcome by making suggestions that can help mom avoid major interventions such as pitocin (such as helping with pressure points to increase the strength of contractions, position changes that might help a baby move into a better position, etc.).  

I'm sure the ladies in your ICAN group can point you in the direction of some good doulas in your area.  Many of them here will work out bartering arrangements or discounts for couples who can't afford their rates.  And there's always the option of looking for a doula in training who may be attending births for free or a small fee.  Of course a doula's level of experience will affect how much she has to offer in terms of suggestions or advice but a doula in training can be a great way to go if paying for a more experienced doula just can't be worked out.  Just the continuous support of a person who is there, with no vested interests other than solely to support you and your partner, can make a big difference.  Just a thought :)

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