What to do when things start getting out of control?
Ok, so here's what's going on RIGHT NOW! My sister is in labor. This is her first baby. She lives across the country so my contact with her is only by phone, which right now is spotty because she is in the hospital. But I'm in contact with my other sister and my mom. She had some extremely mild contractions yesterday 4-6 min apart, but completely painless. I encouraged her to go about her day as normal (don't go to the hospital as her husband and MIL wanted her to do!) and just wait and see what happens. She went to bed last night and woke up this morning with wet underwear. She called her Dr. saying she wasn't sure if her water broke and he told her to come to the hospital (insert silent NO!!!!). I talked to my mom once she had already left for the hospital. So, now she's at the hospital, still the very loose mild contractions and explains to the oncall dr. that she really wants to avoid pitocin. She wants to go as naturally as possible. Dr. says they must admit her since her water is broken. He also chastises her for wanting a natural birth and asks her questions about why that is important, completely putting her on the spot. So, my other sister (the one not in labor) calls me for advice....what to say to the Dr. What to do to keep this natural? Is it possible at this point? I feel so helpless....any advice from doulas or midwives out there? Thanks in advance!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Rachel on -
Well, I 'm not a doula or midwife, but I do have 2 hospital birth expirences..one natural and one with an epidural. I have to say, I would feel helpless in your postion as well. Dr.'s are very hard to deal with in these situations because they just think they are right and may force his/ her opinion on you. SOmetimes you just HAVE to be pushy. THey can't FORCE her to do anything, but they can, gulit trip and convince her that it will be the best for the baby and if she dosn't do it it could put her baby in danger. THis is very hard. She really has to listen to her body, and if they don't want to send her home with ruptured membranes then she has to stnad firm and say I AM NOT getting pitocin. You can't really ask with the docs...you just have to TELL them what you want and say end of story I'm NOT getting it...and if they want they can send her home..it sounds like she may have a while to go...sometimes it takes up to 36 hours to dialte..thats not super common but it can happen. Every woman labors diffrently. Tell your sis she has to be Demanding with the doctor. When I went natuarl at the hospital I had to keep refusing the epidural and they almost insisted I have an IV put it..I kept telling them no and finally had to snap at the nurse and told her to stop asking me. Unfortualy hospital staff can be pushy because they think they know whats best..but really in labor a pateint needs to listen to her body. Tell your sis to hang in there Good luck!
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Permalink Reply by Krista Harris on -
I'm so proud of her! I just spoke with my sister who is there with her and she (my laboring sister) has told them No to Pitocin. They said they'd "give her some time" to see if things can be helped along naturally. So, they are at the hospital walking the halls, doing acupressure, massages and I just told her to try nipple stimulation. She is having contractions, so that is good, but they are still very weak. Its getting to be toward the end of the day east coast time (that's where she is) and I'm wondering what they'll do for overnight. I'm hoping they just say "lets take a break" and let her get some sleep. Not sure if that is common of not.
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Permalink Reply by Michael R. on -
any update?
i would have asked if there was another doctor available if he wasn't willing to work with me on what *i* wanted. if mom is okay and baby is okay.. then they don't need to do CRAP!
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Permalink Reply by KM on -
It's probably too late to mention this now, but I think nipple stim is something that shouldn't be done without being monitored by a professional, since it can result in uterine spasm, and distress for the baby.
If it's not too late, make sure your sister keeps her pelvis nice and open so the baby's head can descend, even when she's walking. She can picture trying to bump the walls with her hips as she walks.
Hope everything went well!
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Permalink Reply by Krista Harris on
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Here's the update: so some good things toward the end of the day. Change of shift brought a new nurse....much more supportive than the first. She actually suggested the same things I did (including the nipple stimulation....she is being intermittently monitored). They pretty much left her alone for the night. I think she got at least a few hours of sleep. Around 3 am she woke up with stronger contractions....she couldn't sleep through them. Around 6 Dr. Jerk came back and pretty much said "times up....we're putting you on Pit". She asked for more time and was told "No". I'm guessing they were firm about it because of the whole 24 hour rule.....you know, hospital policy! I was on the phone with them through one of my sisters contractions (she'd been on Pit for about 3 hours by this point). She was amazing! Low moaning....I'm so proud! Since she's on Pit they won't let her walk the halls anymore but she can get out of bed and has been on the birth ball almost constantly. She also tried some hands and knees for a short time to relieve some back pressure. She's exhausted, but she's doing an awesome job! I'm just praying for no complications! She's trying to go without pain meds, but I honestly don't know how possible that is with those horrible Pit contractions. Oh and one more thing that I think is good at least....they started the Pit.....turned it up at the regular interval twice. Then the contrax got so strong that they turned it back down to the original starting level. (Which totally shows that its completely not even necessary but they won't shut it off!). So, anyway, thanks for the advice and thoughts....I'll update when I've got more info!
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Permalink Reply by Cherylyn on -
My sister was induced with pitocin and was still able to labor and deliver with no pain medication. It's definitely possible, and I'm amazed at any woman who does it because I know what pitocin does. I'm glad to hear she is doing well. Good luck!
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Permalink Reply by Rachel on -
I've seen women do great on pit also...she will need lots of encouragement, though. You can even try and see if they'll turn it off once she's in good active labor. There have been some studies that have shown that at that point, the pit isn't necessary anymore. Good luck to her!
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Permalink Reply by Krista Harris on
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Yay! She did it! Her baby is here! Perfectly healthy and breastfeeding well! She made it the whole way without an epidural.....she got a bit of stadol near transition, but that was it! I heard the nurses were in disbelief and kept coming in the room to see "the one who endured Pit contractions with no epidural". Thanks everyone for all your advice and comments!
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Permalink Reply by Cindy Lerner on -
Congrats Auntie! I'm sure you are so proud of your sister. Maybe next time she will try a homebirth or birth center now that she knows what to expect a little more. My sister got an epidural after only one pitocin contraction. Her body and her baby will thank her for going as drug free as possible.
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Permalink Reply by Krista Harris on
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A little debriefing from my mom and sister who got to be there in person gave me an insiders look at some of the ridiculous things that went down. I guess that doctor was a real winner! My one sister said she couldn't believe how rude and innappropriate he was as he chit-chatted about random things while he was in the room and while my sis was having contractions! At the point where she had had enough....couldn't do it anymore and said she really, really needed something. The (good) nurse came in and said "I know what you need! We need to get you into the shower. We'll put a chair in there and you can sit and the hot water will feel really good". My sister said that sounded wonderful! The nurse had to go get permission from the doctor to unhook the monitors and when she returned she sadly told us that the doctor did not want her to get off the monitors....good grief! There had been NO problems and no reason to think that 20 minutes off the monitors would hurt anything. My response was "why didn't they just switch her to telemetry units"? and my sister said "what are telemetry units"? I explained that that's what I had since I had to have the continuous monitoring for VBAC, but I could go anywhere (including in the tub) with it on. I guess her hospital doesn't have them or didn't offer it as a solution. So, that's when she got the Stadol, which she said did take the edge off a little bit, but she felt really groggy and didn't like that part.
Also, more on the lovely doctor.....one thing I never mentioned is that my sister is a nurse (not an L&D nurse but in a different dept. but at the same hospital) and he said "I gave her extra time than I would have for anyone else since she's a nurse here and all....normally I would have called it a failure to progress and done a c-section much earlier. SERIOUSLY!!!! He admits that! Unbelievable! I guess at one point while she was still in labor he made an offhand comment to someone that this will probably either end up a c-section or forceps delivery (not exactly sure the context of why he said that....other than because it was taking a long time?)
So, bottom line is my sister had a long labor, had to battle hospital staff tooth and nail to keep it as natural as possible and ended up with a vaginal delivery, no episiotomy, little tearing (if any....I haven't heard but she seems pretty comfortable other than sore) and a completely healthy and super cute baby. She feels really good about the outcome, even though if there were some bumps along the way. My hope is that maybe this opens her eyes to possibilities for future children. At any rate, she now knows exactly what to expect if she chooses the OB/hospital route again.
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