What's the rush? - Does your baby need his own room/nursery?
I know with my first baby I nested like crazy and of course had his nursery decorated to perfection by the time he was born. So, when he arrived I just assumed that he should go in his new room, right?
Well, not so much. He stayed in our room exclusively until about 5 months and even after I moved him into his crib in his room I usually ended up bringing him into bed with me at some point during the night to nurse him.
Fast forward to my fourth child, I've come to the realize how silly the "nursery game" is. Yes, it's fun to decorate and make a special place for our newest family member, but isn't it all a bit unnecessary? Seriously, where else but in our recent modern culture have babies ever slept anywhere other than thieir mother's arms or within arm's reach? Now we have entirely separate rooms of the house dedicated to them.
Sadly, so often I hear moms revel in the moment they can get their babies "away in their own room" and "get them to sleep througout the night". Does this goal seem realistic or even healthy for an infant?
I'd love thoughts on this...
Tags: co-sleeping, nursery, sleeping
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Lynn Wolf on -
LOL I agree! With my first we decked out a nursery which turned into a nice baby clothes/toys/diapers storage room. She never slept in her crib. Not once. So when my second came along, a saved time and money and just bought a nice little wool blanket for her to sleep on in my bed.
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Permalink Reply by EmilyK on -
I definitely enjoyed the freedom to be intimate with my husband without worrying about waking the baby! but I only moved my boys when they were ready. And by ready, I mean, they were old enough so that they would actually sleep better if they weren't near me all night, smelling the mommy smell, knowing there was food nearby. That seemed to happen around 5 months or so.
As for sleeping through the night, I tried to teach my kids good night time habits from the beginning. Like I started to lay them down at night around 7-7:30, just to help them understand the difference between night and day. I didn't expect them to sleep all night, I mean, they were breastfeeding. But I didn't want them waking up as though it was time to get up at 2:30 in the morning. A happy mommy is mommy who gets at least 3 consecutive hours of sleep!
But yeah, for both kids the crib was kind of a storage facility for stuffed animals and clean laundry.
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Permalink Reply by Rachel Hiser on
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For me, having the nursery ready, is more about my own feelings of readiness than anything else. I just like having everything in its place - the clothes washed and in the dresser, the baby bedding clean and on the crib, the toys stacked in their basket(s). With all the uncertainty surrounding when the baby is coming and how things are going to progress, this is one small area I have control over and feel like I can do something about! lol. It makes me feel prepared, even though I know in my head that it really isn't that big of a deal. Of course, I'm a planner type, so that's probably why I feel that need. :P
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Permalink Reply by Laura Morales on -
I def don't think it's a must have but I do think its a fun thing to do. I'm preggo with my third and didn't have room for a nursery with my first 2 and ya, we made it just fine. But with this one I really wanted to see what it was like to have it and I can't wait til he gets to use it. He will be sleeping with us for the first few months at least cause I know it will be easier to have him right there but when he's ready I will put him in there and until then he can take naps or whatever there. That's my plan, we'll see how it all works out
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Permalink Reply by Tarrah Carmon on -
with our first we used a side bed and i would nurse at night and he stayed in it for 3 months...after that he didnt like sleeping with us and would sleep longer so we moved him to his already done up nursery and LOVED it...slept so much better and i would go in his room and rock and nurse him and go back to our room....now he is 18 months old and will NOT sleep in a bed with someone and loves his own little space...i think each kid and parent is different and that you should do what works for yall :) we are expecting and have already started turning our guest room into a nursery and cant wait to find out the sex!
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Permalink Reply by Brittany Tubb on -
With our first he had his side of our room that was decorated with his stuff but he slept with me and my hubby till he was 4 months then my hubby deployed and i continued to let him sleep with me...at about 6 months he wanted to sleep in his own bed and was sleeping the whole night..so i let him..i still got about the same amount of sleep just bc i'm one of those mommys that has to make sure they r still breathing..lol Then my hubby came home and kaleb was 13 months old..and he wanted to sleep with us again..i think it was him remembering that daddy use to let him sleep on his chest at night..(soo cute) that lasted about 3 months then he was ready to be put in his big boy bed again..and now that's the only place he will sleep. i'm nearly 34 weeks pregnant now, and our nearly 3 yr old and newborn will share a room when the time comes..but i have a co-sleeper that will be set up in our room, hubby is deployed again, so i'm sure ill let this baby sleep with me too. :)) but all of his things like clothes, diapers, and toys will be in the room he will share with his older brother. i think it just really depends on how the baby reacts to things..some kids do great in their own rooms..some just need a few nights to get use to their own space, and end up loving it later.
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Permalink Reply by Holly C on -
I've always realized that nurseries are something parents do for themselves, because they are fun to do. We all know that babies cannot see that far so your newborn really does not care what light fixture you used six feet away or what the painting is on the opposite wall ten or twelve feet away. Parents do it for themselves and that's fine for those who have the desire and money.
I shared a room with my son for the first seven or eight months of his life and at that time, it did work well since he was a snacker and wanted to nurse every 10-20 minutes around the clock. Though I will say that it also worked out well moving him to his own room as he went to 'bed' at 7:30 or 8 pm and was a very light sleeper. Each time I had to move, sneeze or go to the bathroom, it would wake him up and restart the entire process of trying to get him to sleep. Moving him to his own room meant he got the sleep he needed without me disturbing him. Good for both of us. But he was eight or so months old at that point and we'd moved and it wasn't a nursery, it was simply his bedroom and I really didn't decorate it much.
I don't think there's anything unhealthy about wanting a bit of privacy or space and I think that there are those first weeks or months after birth where women are a bit desperate to reclaim their bodies and that often comes in the form of the baby having its own room. And obviously sleeping through the night...no one likes being sleep deprived. I think it only becomes unrealistic when people expect it within the first month or so of birth, ala I have seen posts from girls of only days-old babies whining and frustrated-to-heck-and-back that the baby isn't sleeping through the night 'already' at the ripe old age of 5 or 9 days old.
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