"Seperation Anxiety"
Hi everyone. I have an 8 month old son. We are AP'ers, and are going through a bit of separation anxiety (SP) lately. We wear our baby boy, co-sleeps, etc. Lately, he gets upset if he can't see me, must have me hold him, I am the only one who seems to be able to comfort him. Even if dad and I are standing next to each other, and dad is holding him, he cries and wants me. I have been told this is common. Here is my issue. I don't want to rush to "fix" him every time he is upset. I believe it is sending the message that "I am the only one" and inadvertently expresses something must be wrong with dad if he can't comfort him. I also do not believe in crying it out. So, my question (finally), anyone have experience with this? I know it is more common during developmental changes. I guess I don't want to prolong this, and be dealing with it for years. Thanks! Glad there are so many other ap'ers out there!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kaitlin Rose on -
Hi Robin,
I absolutely have experienced what you are talking about. My little girl is 9 months old now, and we are doing the AP thing too - breastfeeding/baby wearing/sleeping together. She has gone in and out of these phases where only I can comfort her, and she only wants me. During those times, daddy will join us, or stay close to us, even though I am the one holding her. We try to make it a family thing rather that exclusive to just me.
As I said, she's gone in and out of these phases. It wont last forever. He's just expressing himself, telling you his needs, and he wants you! That's not a bad thing. That means you have really bonded, which is great!
Hang in there. I know it can be tough. Try to do it "all together" so he can get the picture that you're all involved in helping him feel better and while you are there for him, daddy is too and visa versa.
Hope this helps!
Kaitlin -
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Permalink Reply by Darcel on -
I agree with the previous poster. He wants YOU. I also know how stressful that can be. I've gone through it twice now and gearing up for a 3rd time.
He loves and trust you, so it's only natural that you be the one he wants to soothe, hold,rock him all the time.
Not that he doesn't love and trust daddy.
NINO stands for nine months in & nine months out. So babies spend 9 months growing inside the womb and 9 months up close(babywearing co-sleeping, breastfeeding,etc) to mommy where it all started.
Like you said it can happen more during milestones. Hang in there. It does get better. He is probably getting used to the idea that even though he can't always see you, you are always there. -
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