This is important care information for all intact children. It might seem silly that I am giving basic care about proper care of the genitals but this information is vital to protect your son from improper care from medical professionals who are likely to be ignorant about the normal development of the intact boy. Keep all these links on hand to use as a reference.


In both boys and girls the genitals are not fully developed at birth. Yes, all the parts are there, but those parts are not sexually developed. Genitals become sexually developed primarily from hormones throughout childhood and puberty. The genitals are like a rose that will bloom will age and sexual maturity.

Both boys and girls are born with the prepuce (foreskin) that is fused to the underlying sex organ. On a girl it is fused to the clitoris and on boys it is fused to the glans (head) of the penis. There should NEVER be an attempt to try to pull at the foreskin of a girl or boy. In general we don't try to do this to girls but many care providers do not understand the importance of leaving a boy's foreskin alone. Trying to retract a foreskin causes tearing, scaring, bleeding, introduces infection, and other more serious complications. The foreskin is fused for a reason, to protect the underlying sex organ from urine, feces and other pathogens. With girls you never have to worry about a care provider or doctor trying to retract, but with boys it is a real danger. Stay with your newborn son at all times at the hospital. If they ask to take your son to the nursery, send a member of the family with him. Clearly address that your son's foreskin should NOT be manipulated in any way, shape, or form on your birth plan and consider buying a onsie that says "Please do Not manipulate my foreskin". When you take your baby to your baby-well-checks always remind the doctor that he is NOT to manipulate your son's foreskin for any reason. Even gentle manipulation can create micro-tears and other problems. Have this discussion BEFORE he removes your son's diaper. This might seem redundant but I find that doctors have a general curiosity to see what is "underneath". There is absolutely nothing for the doctor to see and there is no reason for him to try to manipulate your son's foreskin. Print off the following pamphlets and give them to your doctor if they ever try to challenge you. If the doctor continues to challenge you, take your son and leave. Do not put your son at risk to be forcibly retracted.

Answers to your questions about your intact son:

Dangers of Forcible Retraction:

Development of a Retractable Foreskin in a Child/Adolescent:

AAP Care for Intact Boy Guidelines:

Avoiding Circumcision after the Neonatal Period:


If poop gets on the penis you can wipe like a finger, from base to tip. For a girl wipe from front to back. For really messy diapers you should shower your child off. You DON'T need to wipe after every urination this is totally unnecessary and could disturb the natural flora. As children learn to wipe themselves teach them the importance of wiping from front to back and washing their hands after they finish.

In the bath you just swish in the water. With both boys and girls you want to avoid bubble baths and soaking in soapy water. This can irritate genitals and cause flora imbalance (causing yeast). I always apply the baby wash to my son LAST after he has finished playing in the water and then rinse him immediately. Never apply soaps directly to your child's genitals.

Prolonged exposure to urine saturated diapers can cause redness or irritation/rash to the genitals of children. This can be avoided with frequent diaper changes. If your child does have a mild irritation use a diaper barrier cream or A & D ointment.

YEAST 411:

For both boys and girls yeast infections can happen during the diaper wearing years or after a round of antibiotics. Yeast is easily treated with an anti-fungal ointment (prescription or otc). To avoid yeast infections you should always have give your child a probiotic supplement during and for one week after a round of antibiotics. You can get probiotic supplements from the pediatrician or from a health food store. They have some especially formulated for infants and babies. Probiotics are just healthy bacteria. Also, if you choose to cloth diaper you will want to strip your diapers with vinegar and hang them to dry in direct sunlight if you ever get diaper yeast (thrush). Yeast can be quite hard to remove from cloth diapers! You will want to use disposables until the yeast on your baby is fully treated and all the diapers have been thoroughly stripped.


During childhood/adolescence your son will go through a normal separation process as the foreskin separates from the glans. As I said before, the foreskin is fused during childhood to protect the developing penis from feces and other pathogens. Separation is different for each boy and happens at a different age for each boy. During this time he might experience some irritation, itching, stinging, minor redness, minor swelling, ballooning, spraying, smegma pearls, uneven retraction, smegma discharge, etc. These are all totally NORMAL and resolve by themselves. I get get many concerned parents asking about their son's irritated, red, or slightly inflamed penis. 97% of the time it is just normal separation occurring. Some boys don't experience any of this but most boys have 1 of these symptoms at some point especially around ages 2-5 when boys really begin to explore their genitals with their hands. Ballooning is a very common occurrence. You should not be worried if your son balloons. This normal phase will pass as hormones increase and the opening widens. During self-discovery is a prime time for separation trauma to appear. UNLESS it gets increasingly worse, extremely inflamed, he has fever, or you suspect yeast infection there is nothing to worry about. (Bacterial infections are VERY RARE and usually only occur only after forcible retraction or a wound to the penis.) Usually the symptoms of normal separation resolve themselves within 48- 72hours. Due to the fact that US doctors know very little about the development of the intact boy, it is wise to wait it out and let this resolve on its own. Since boys tend to be more "hands on" with their genitals and their genitals are not as internal these symptoms appear more frequently than with girls. You may want to remind your son to be gentle with his privates as he begins to self-explore. If your son injures himself while he is self-exploring, you can use a Bacitracin ointment on the open wound. Never use Neosporin on the genitals.

Important Article--- Protect Your Intact Son, Expert Medical Advice.

Here is a helpful thread about separation and when to be concerned:

Remember that just b/c the foreskin has separated from the glans does NOT mean that anyone should try to retract your son. The opening of the foreskin remains very narrow and widens with sexual maturity. A foreskin only becomes retractable after the foreskin has separated and the opening has widened. Hormones play a big role in the widening process. These hormones replace the fiberous tissue with a more elastic tissue. Through self-discovery your son will learn when he is retractable. Only 50% of boys are retractable by age 10. It is normal for a boy to not become retractable until after puberty. The only person to retract a boy should be the boy himself. Once a boy/man is retractable he can retract his foreskin, rinse with water only, and replace the foreskin back over the glans during his showers. Easy as that!

***If your son becomes retractable at an early age you will notice that his glans and inner foreskin is very red and moist. This is NORMAL!!!! The intact boy's glans are an internal organ, unlike a circumcised boy. Circumcised boys develop extra layers of skin over their glans, this puts the blood flow further from the surface than with the intact boy. Because the foreskin is protecting the glans the intact boy's blood-flow is very close to the surface which gives it a reddish or even purple appearance. The foreskin is also very vascular (like the lips) so this also gives it a more red appearance. The normal appearance of the intact boy is red and moist. If your son becomes retractable at a young age, remind him that he should always replace his foreskin over the glans after retraction.***


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Replies to This Discussion

very good to know! Actually my sons current dr. tried to gently retract my sons foreskin and when he started to squirm she stopped and said if it wasn't opening up in the next year or so that he might have to get circed. I later talked to my sister inlaw who has a son that is 4 and is not cired and asked her if she ever retracted and she said no, so that made me feel better. I'm so glad to know that it's not supposed to till at least 10, he's only 2yrs now so thats great. I can't believe I didn't know some of these things.
question, the reason the dr. was even looking at his penis was cause we went to the ER with him because his penis swelled up to like triple the normal size(and it was the weekend, no pedi open) they never gave us a reason for why this happened except they though it had a infection or maybe a build up of fluid. Does anyone know why that might have happened? That was probably a year ago and it hasn't happened again thank goodness!
When the penis swells suddenly like that it is usually due to normal separation trauma. Nothing to worry about as it will go away on its own. You can make him more comfortable by soaking him in a bath with about 1/4 cup of baking soda. The baking soda tends to sooth the glans. Only if there is a fever and swelling extends into the groin would there be cause to suspect infection. True bacterial infections are really quite rare. Sometimes if a boy has yeast there is some swelling but you can generally see a peely looking rash if there is yeast. If you ever suspect infection the proper course of action would be to do a culture by swabbing the tip. No retraction is necessary as any bacteria or yeast will be present on the tip. A culture should always be done so that you don't accidentally treat a yeast infection with antibiotics. Yeast is by far more common, especially after antibiotics or with cloth diapers. Make sure you always instruct your doctor not to retract or manipulate the foreskin in any way.

Normal separation causes symptoms simply b/c the foreskin is very vascular and reacts to this developmental phase. Sometimes as the foreskin begins to separate the urine will sting the underlying glans until the glans smooth over in a few days. For some boys it stings more than for others. For some boys it is more of an itching. It varies from boy to boy.

Actually only 50% of boys are retractable by 10 so if your son is not retractable by then do not worry. Retraction is a sexual function, which is why puberty hormones are primarily responsible for widening the opening. In the rare condition that a man is not retractable after puberty, a steroidal cream can be used to allow the foreskin to widen. This steroidal cream will mimic the effects of normal hormones and allow the skin to become more elastic. This should only be used if a man is not retractable AFTER puberty and it bothers him. It is important to note that on a very small percent of men (and woman) the foreskin never retracts and so long as it doesn't interfere with intercourse nothing needs to be done.

Just remember that as a parent of an intact boy you probably now know more about the development of the intact boy than 97% of doctors. They only learn how to cut foreskins off in med school not about the normal development of the intact boy. This is why Doctors Opposing Circumcision (DOC) spend a great deal of time sending legal paperwork to pedis and doctors who have forcibly retracted boys and hurt them. Forcible retraction can lead to scar tissue build up in a boy and make him unable to retract in adulthood. It also can lead to a very serious condition called paraphimosis. Only a boy knows what is comfortable for his foreskin which is why only your son should manipulate is own foreskin. Retracting a boy is akin to trying to stick fingers in a baby girl's vagina an break her hymen. This action is one for him and him alone.

Let me know if you have anymore questions!
Whoops, I posted a bad link. This is the correct link to the VERY IMPORTANT ARTICLE:

Make sure you read this one too!



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