I've had a interesting time with this, not so much as having people yell at me, just the small comments.
Having a hospital birth doesn't mean you are less than a women who had a HB. What I am starting to think is going on here, is that they DO feel a lesser women because they did, because their Dr and nurses may of made them feel that way. The big difference that I've noticed is how CNM don't talk down to you the way Dr's do. And after having a hospital birth myself with my first, I can now see where that comment stems from. Having nurses coming in and checking you, making comments about how you are progressing. It can be very demeaning mentally. The time crunch doesn't help either, you must dilate and deliver in such and such time period. Then when it is time to push, you are being told you are pushing hard enough or efficiently enough and are being threatened with a possible C-section.
It's quite a mental/ego grinder. Especially after being told throughout your pregnancy that you are doing great and that everything is going like it should.
I think it's sad that they probably are sad deep down about what happened during their birth. Now they are face to face with someone who has complete confidence in themselves and their bodies AND they have a midwife/ob who is the same. Not the demeaning one yelling at them during labor, making them feel like the lowliest mammal on the planet.
It's no wonder we now have a growing group of women who are becoming phobic about birth.
It's all so sad and my heart goes out to these women.
I do not feel like I am on the defensive at all. I had a medicated hospital birth with my first child. I was 17. I was scared and I was ignorant. Looking back I feel like my OB was dishonest with me about the risks of medications during labor, and nobody told me about childbirth education classes. I ended up with an epidural and vacuum extraction delivery in the hospital. My son was born swollen and bruised. I had receive an episiotomy - not even knowing what an episiotomy was or that there was a possibility the doctor would cut me without asking or telling me what he was doing. It was very painful, emotionally and physically. 15 years later I am pregnant for the second time and I have spent the last 7 months talking to professionals and reading about options and risks. I have selected a wonderful midwife and I am choosing to labor and hopefully deliver at home. I know things can happen and I am fully prepared in case a transfer to the hospital is necessary. I make it a point to ask others who are expecting where they are planning to deliver and why. I do this out of a genuine concern for women who have not asked the questions and made an informed decision to take control over their situations. I do not think that having a medicated birth in the hospital is a bad decision, as long as it is a conscious decision based on research and weighing the risks. Maybe this is why I don't feel defensive - I am not advocating for home birth as much as I am advocating for research and informed decision making, which to me means "Don't just listen to your care provider. Gather as much information you can, study it, and decide for yourself what is best for you and your baby."