Experiances with older siblings at the Home Birth

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Permalink Reply by Mandy Hand on February 2, 2010 at 2:45pm

I am curious about this too because I have a 2 year old son. When I go into labor we are calling the grandparents to come pick him up until the baby is born. I don't know what his reaction will be when he walks into his house and there's a baby there. I want it to be a smooth a transition as possible.

Permalink Reply by Elena LaVictoire on February 2, 2010 at 7:04pm

My kids were bored with labor. At the time they were 9, 5 and 3. They just wanted to play and in fact were having such a good time they almost missed the actual birth because they didn't want to be interrupted!

Three years before that, my 2 year old was taking a nap when the baby came. When he woke up he saw the baby and said, "Whose baby?"

"Ours," we replied.

"Can we keep him!"

and so we did!! They are now 15 and 17 and great friends.

Permalink Reply by Sara on February 2, 2010 at 10:56pm

Make sure he is well informed and well prepared for what things will be like. Labor is hard and it hurts. It can be bloody. Make sure he expects you to be loud and in pain. My Midwife gave me a book to read to my son telling the story of a HB from a child's point of view as his baby brother was born. The book is "Hello Baby" or "Welcome With Love" by Jenni Overend (not sure why it has 2 names its the same book). I also found a birth video on youtube that was realistic but not too graphic showing a birth and emphasized that while the mom was making lots of noise and seemed to be hurting, as soon as the baby came out she fine and was all smiles.

I don't expect my son to want to be in the room but I want him to know what he's hearing from other areas of the house. If he wants to come in he can, even if its just for a moment to see for himself that I am OK. My midwife's advice? If he wants to be in the room during the birth let him but don't make him. If he seems to be uncomfortable or stressed let someone take him to another room and promise you will call him as soon as his brother gets here!

Just make sure he has a realistic expectation of what to will happen as you labor & deliver, and that he knows its all normal.

My daughter was 9 when her brother was born and she did not want to be in the room but came in as soon as he was out. She is now 13 and has decided she does not want to be in the room this time either, but will be waiting right outside the door. She has given me strict instructions to bring her in the instant he "emerges" so she can "miss the yucky stuff but be there to meet him as he takes his first breaths". She feels thats the best of both worlds.

Permalink Reply by April Kurtyka on February 4, 2010 at 11:33pm

My 9 year old daughter was at my sons birth... she was great.

Beforehand I talked to her about the sights and sounds at birth and let her make up her mind about being there. I had someone there to watch her and take her out somewhere if she ever wanted to.

She was there the whole time, acting as my doula and sometimes the camera girl... Im so thankful she decided to be there, it was amazing. I think my birthing slideshow is on my page here... There are some great pics of her helping me..

Or you can look on youtube and search for Apollos Birth.

Permalink Reply by Tanashia Roberts Huff on February 5, 2010 at 4:59pm

I agree with Sara. I just delivered at home on Jan 11th. Both my daughters (ages 8 & 4) were present. We read the book Sara mentioned a thousand times & a few others too. They were well prepared & behaved appropriately. They were very supportive as well...holding my hand & rubbing my back. They both also too pics. I would ask him what he wants to do & then plan accordingly. Tanashia