How do you get your family on board?

I am not currently pregnant, but would like to have a home VBAC with my next birth. My husband and I have been talking about trying for another baby soon and I literally have NO idea how to broach the subject of a home birth with him or anyone else in my family. I am fairly certain that most of my friends and family will think I have completely lost my mind when I bring this up, which is why I would like to start talking to everyone about it before I actually get pregnant.

I have told my husband that I would like to have a VBAC and he has been skeptical that I would actually want that so I think it is going to be a huge challenge to get him on board.

Any suggestions about how to talk about this?

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Permalink Reply by Erin Tullius on July 9, 2009 at 5:05pm

I would say to educate yourself (and your husband) as much as you can first. That way, when people ask ridiculous or confrontational questions (and, unfortunately, they usually do) you will know how to respond. My husband was more than supportive, however, the rest of my family was not at first. I had my in-laws and my father watch BOBB and my mom met my midwife and was able to ask her questions. Ultimately, some of my family members were still apprehensive, but for the most part, they understood my decision.

You need to do what is right for you and your baby. I had to come to terms with the fact that my family will not always agree with me and this was just another instance. As long as your husband is on board, I wouldn't worry about what everyone else thinks. Good luck to you!

Permalink Reply by Kayla Dolan on July 16, 2009 at 1:05pm

My hubby didn't want it, either. He was uneducated, even though I sat him down for BoBB.

I decided, though, that this was something that I wanted for myself and my baby. I KNOW this was the safest way for me to give birth and for my baby to be born. Was I going to let anyone keep me from doing what I felt was the best for both of us?

No. I made up my mind. So, I chose the homebirth option when he wasn't on board. His approval really mattered to me, so, without telling him that I'd already made up my mind, I did my very best to ease his fears. By the very end, he was still shaky on the idea and a little irritated with the process (airing up the birthing tub, buying small supplies here and there, etc). I stuck with it, though. Come birth day, it was beautiful. Even my husband was smiling ear to ear. He defends the choice now, rather than submitting to all the jokes and laughs about my choice.

And neither of us regret a thing.

Permalink Reply by alex on July 24, 2009 at 10:34am

hi,
i'm in the same boat you are. i think. i'm not pregnant yet and i have been doing alot of research on everthing from hospital births, home births, birthing centers, water births, ect.. and with me i pick the hardest person in my fam to tell first..by the hrdest i me the one that does everything by the book.. that was my dad.. when i told him he said" over my dead body!!" and i told him everthing that i have learned. and he still wasnt for it. then i found out that my ins. would pay for a midwife.. when i told him that he was ok with it.. he thinks that ins. wouldn't pay for something that would be bad for you.. but my mother in-law wont talk to me about it.. she is very closed minded.. my hubby is all for. but he talked to his son's dr. about it. and she said that as long as a midwife is there that we should be fine!!
good luck and i hope that you dont let anyone talk you out of what you want!!

How do you get your family on board?

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