I know every woman's pregnancy is different, but I never really expected to pass my due date and still not have a baby...especially since I was 10 days early with my first child. It's a really weird feeling. I had this goal (date) that I was shooting for and now it's gone and it feels like I might be pregnant forever. I find myself thinking, "Does my body know that it's been 40 weeks?", "Will it ever decide to do this on it's own?". I didn't have time to think with my first pregnancy because labor began early and unexpectedly. I just assumed this time would be somewhat similar, maybe not as early, but still close to the due date.

I'm immediately regretting telling anyone when I was due because now I'm getting non-stop phone calls, text messages and Facebook comments..."Any sign of baby yet?", "Are you in labor? You didn't answer your phone earlier.", "Why don't you just get induced, you're at term.", "Are you dilated?", "When are you going to decide have that baby?"ect...ect. Leave me alone people!

Most don't have any idea that we are doing a homebirth so they seemed to be very confused that I haven't already been induced or something. It's almost like they are worried that I made it to my due date because that just isn't "normal". Most of the people I know have had elective inductions, so they think this waiting thing is crazy.

I'm trying so hard to be patient and put all the negatives out of my head. It's just weird, my husband and I planned this pregnancy...we knew my ovulation schedule and everything and conceived immediately. I guess I just figured our due date was fairly accurate. I've been having uncomfortable Braxton Hicks for 2 weeks now, throughout the day, everyday. As of Tuesday the 10th I wasn't dilated more than maybe 1cm. I had another appointment yesterday but decided I didn't want my MW to check me because I didn't feel any different than before...plus, I was afraid of hearing that I was still a zero or 1cm. I would rather not know. I didn't picture myself still being pregnant by Thanksgiving...but I guess that's definitely possible at this point.

I most definitely want her to come on her own and when she it fully ready, and I will not do anything unnatural to speed up the process. I really hope it happens in the next few days. I feel so ready.

Tags: homebirth, overdue

Views: 60

Replies to This Discussion

Oh mama, sorry about your frustrations. I wish I had some magic words to make you feel better. post a message on FB and your phone...No baby yet...Maybe that will help if you don't have to deal with the annoying messages.

Remember every PG is different and no one is PG forever :) Your body knows exactly what its doing and your baby will trigger labor when he/she is ready. Many practitioners hate the DD system we have. My MW included. She gave me a due month--2 weeks before my EDD to 2 weeks after. It helps not having an exact day come and go that all your hopes are pinned on then it passess with no baby.

You said you won't do anything unnatural to start labor. Neither would I. Sex is natural though and semen softens your cervix naturally. Nipple stimulation can also facilitate the process, if the baby is ready if not it won't cause labor to start. Or just wait and enjoy these last few days. Hand in there. You'll be holding your baby before you know it!
I feel your torment. Today I am at 41 weeks and the phone calls/ emails are nonstop. People don't hold back either. Everyone knows I am having a homebirth and proceed to tell me horror stories of so-and-so having to be induced for such-and-such reason, resulting in a c-section, and I just need to get over it because that is what happens. They make it sound simple (like a c-section is ever simple), but because of lot of other circumstances I don't have health insurance and large medical bills are something family cannot afford. Like you I will not do anything to speed it up, but the fear is still there that my MW may say I need to get an OBGYN because of that foreboding such-and-such everyone keeps speaking of.

Thankfully I have an appointment today and I know my MW will help expel those fears. My pregnancy has been far greater than amazing; I have no reason to be concerned. 2/3 of post-term pregnancies are caused by miscalculated due dates which is comforting to know as week 42 comes around the bend.
I probably wouldn’t have this fear if it wasn’t for all the phone calls and badgering. As of today I have decided to stop answering any of them, ignore my emails, and leave listening to all the voicemails for after I have had my amazing water birth in my home surrounded by the people I love and the MW who has supported my views and my body this whole journey.

Deep Breath…

Just writing that last part made me feel at peace. Thanks for posting this today Lindsey. I haven’t checked this site in awhile and today I did, looking for someone who understands my frustration, of course you are here. Like Sara said no one is PG forever (and it doesn’t have to be induced)!
I can imagine how discouraging that is. Your wait will be worth it. Here's a poem that I remembered when I read your posts-

Dear Baby, Here beneath my heart,
I thought you might come today;
the timing seemed just right.

But the stars are out
and the moon is high
and sheepishly I wonder why
I try to arrange the plans
of God.

For now I know
you will not come
until the One who holds eternity
rustles your soft cocoon
and whispers in tones that I will
not hear,
"it's time, precious gift."

"Now, it's time."

(Robin Jones-Gunn)
Block out the world and tell your little one that you are ready for her whenever she is ready.

I talked to my little Ella all the time the week before she was born. I told her I was looking forward to meeting her, and that I'd make sure she was warm in her new and different environment.

I was SO ready for her to come and thought she'd be early. But she waited.

Your baby girl (and your body) knows when the time is right. Block out the world and be with her.

Looking forward to hearing your home birth story and wishing you the best (from a home birth mom),
Kaitlin
I wanted to give you some encouragement as you wait. My first baby came a 4 weeks early. I had some complications that caused my water to break early. No stopping it them. (I ended up with a c-section w/ my 1st.) I thought for sure that my next would be early. He came at 37 weeks so I didn't have to wait too long. But I remember even that one week being agony. My 3rd was induced at 39 weeks by my MW due to the complications mentioned above (although not as severe.) I would have gone to 40 weeks with my 3rd. My last 3 babies have come at 40, 41, and 40 weeks (my last had bit of help as well for the same medical reasons.) I have been in that "why doesn't this baby come NOW" stage at least 5 times (even when I went all the way to my due date I expected them to be early. I am a slow learner.) So my experience has led me to finally learn and give the following advice. . . .a watched pot doesn't boil. That is what I tell all the crazy people that call me. It will happen when I walk away (and get everyone else to walk away) and find something else to do with my(their) time. Make sense? (BTW, I have also told the people that call me the most to stop calling. I remind them that baby comes when it's ready and I have no control and don't want to control it. There is no harm is putting up boundaries where it needed. Sometimes we just have to endure. There have also been times where I have let my dh takes those calls. When I am emotional and tired I don't want to hear the stupid comments. So he will take the brunt of it for me. That helps alot.)

Hang in there. We all feel at some point or another that we'll be pregnant forever. Isn't it silly that we feel that way because we know the truth. But when you're big and uncomfortable it's hard to convince yourself of that truth. So I always encourage younger moms waiting to find something to do with themselves to get their mind off of it. It's not always easy. As I mentioned above, I am always expecting my babies to be early despite the fact that I really do go all the way and past some. One year I took my older daughter with me to a craft store and we got started on teaching ourselves a new craft. Just anything like that will help in the waiting process and be a small distraction while you wait. If you can get your mind off it and stop feeling like you must control, I think you might be surprised by the baby and it's coming. :)

God Bless, Karen
I read your post but not the reply's, so I'm sure you've gotten great advice already. I just wanted to add my "two cents" if you will :-) My 2 girls were both late comers, the first one was 14 days overdue (she was born at home) and the second one was 15 days and probably would have been more but I let the midwives convince me to have my water bag broken on that 15th day in order to induce. The first thing I'd like to note, and I'm sure this isn't new info for you, that it's just an "estimated date of delivery" or EDD according to the charts. I was told by a few different midwives and nurses and other mom's who've done this a few times that the EDD is plus or minus 2 weeks. From what I understand, that would mean that even if you're weeks have reached 40 according to the charts, it could be the little know-it-all in your stomach (since I'm sure babies do know when they're ready) thinks she's still allowed to have a couple more weeks. The other thing for me was that I had such a smooth ride in terms of health and well being of the baby and my own well being that I figured there was no need to rush it, everything was fine. You'll know if you feel the need to induce (go with the water breakage, it's better than whatever it is that hospitals want to throw at you) and if you feel that the fussing from the midwives or other health service people are annoying, I'd tune them out if I were you. I didn't with my second one and I wished I would have because I was still healthy and doing well even at 15 days over. Plus, after I had my daughter (who was born in the hospital, by the way, which was not what I wanted but had to do because the birthing center wouldn't allow it after the 41st week) I had to talk to a social worker in order to be released (I don't know if that's true for everyone or just us single moms) but she told me that often times postpartum can manifest itself in women who didn't get the exact birth they were hoping for (i.e. induction, to stressful on day of, to many people around, etc.). So my advice is to just hang out, be happy your little one is safe and sound in your belly and you still have some time before diaper duties roll in. Kick of your shoes, have a nice stiff martini....oh no, what I meant was tea haha;-) and relax while you still can. Enjoy and good luck!
I'm currently at 41wks plus a few days and trying to wait patiently. I'm getting a lot of the same questions and such as you are which is annoying. I didn't think I would be on the verge of an thanksgiving baby either...and having to change our family thanksgiving plans. I am also planning a homebirth and hopeful that this baby will come soon. It has to come out eventually, right? All three of my others were after their due date but this one has gone on the longest so far. I have not been checked at all by my mw and while I'd kind of like to know where I am at I also like not knowing since I find it less pressure. I try to focus on the fact that I am doing good physically and emotionally (most of the time) and baby seems to be content in there for the time being. I try to find the blessing in that at this point. Hang in there.
Thank you all for your wonderful encouragement! It was so helpful to me while I was getting through those last few days. My beautiful daughter Violet Kate was born at 7:30pm on November 22nd. It was a wonderful water birth in the middle of my bedroom. Having a homebirth was absolutely amazing! I'm so glad she was able to come when she was ready. She has been such a good nurser and napper...so calm. Thank you all again, and for those of you who may still be waiting on your beautiful babies...I send you my best thoughts. They will be here before you know it :)

Lindsey
You hang tight...both my kids were born at 42 weeks after a full moon. I think the moon will be full Wednesday. Maybe that will trigger something:D Good luck!

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