Nervous first time homebirther

Hello! I love the advise that many women give here and thought I might get a little bit of help from those that are experienced with home births. A quick look at my history.

First pregnancy I wanted to go natural at the hospital, water had a leak, they induced, I broke down and took stadol, I was ready to push and had to wait for the doctor for 15-20, then my son was almost out and had heart decals. They used vacuum and I tore horribly and had to go into surgery after all of that! Baby was perfect except for the rough birth experience.

Second Pregnancy I had twins. What craziness! I was totally scared the whole time that I would lose them so I just didn't have my right mind. Pre-term labor occured and if I didn't take my meds to stop it I would start right up again with my contractions. I wanted an epidural only because I feared there being an emergency where they would just need to take them immediately to save them. They induced one epidural stopped labor completely and the twins didn't handle the pit. Had a unnecessary c-section.

Then a wonderful friend lent me BOBB and I was enlightened and ready for a change! I had a natural VBAC in a hospital in 2009. I was supposed to have a midwife there but the nurse wouldn't call one because 'no one is on call at the hospital'. So, I dealt with a dr. once more but he gave me all that I wanted to so I thank him for that. Had no complications and felt great after wards!

I think the reason I am nervous is simply because I am a first timer. I own BOBB and have 3 books about natural birth/VBAC. Are there any suggestions that you could give me or books to read that might help me not have that 'first day of class' feeling? Thanks so much!

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Permalink Reply by Kim Rosas on February 28, 2011 at 8:43am

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth gave me the confidence I needed to have a homebirth! Good luck!

Permalink Reply by sarah dutton on February 28, 2011 at 10:58am

I will second the Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. but my initial instinct after reading your post is that since you've been through child birth before, it will be much like your last experience; only much more comfortable, peaceful & you won't have to wait on anyone except your new bundle of joy!!

you will do great & i wish you the best!! keep us posted.

p.s. how do you do it with 4 going on 5??!! i can hardly keep up with 2!!!

Permalink Reply by Expecting#9 on February 28, 2011 at 11:01am

Sarah,

I am also a first time homebirther after 8 hospital births, including one c-section. This will be my fifth VBAC. I will be having my ninth baby in just 4-6 weeks!

Most of my hospital births had similar experiences to your first 3. Unnecessary interventions - lots of them. Inductions, stadol, epidurals, pitocin, episiotomies, a 4th degree tear requiring surgery, a baby with breathing issues that ended up in the NICU for a week, stuck laboring in bed attached to monitors, etc......

By the time I had my 6th, 7th & 8th baby, I had found a doc that would let me do it "my way." I delivered them "natural" (no pain drugs) but there STILL ended up being unnecessary interventions, monitoring & labor in bed, etc. and I decided it still wasn't quite what I wanted.

I have a friend that has had many home births over the years as I had my hospital births so that option has always been in the back of my mind. I think what kept me from doing it was the fact that I was a VBAC patient. But after 4 successful VBACs, I think that fear in me has finally subsided. When I got pregnant this time, I just knew I HAD to have a homebirth! And only homebirths from now on!

I had heard of BOBB, but I didn't even watch it until halfway through this pregnancy. I finally got ahold of a copy (borrowed it from my midwife) and I did gain GREAT confidence from it!

I've also watched a lot of the homebirth videos here on My Best Birth and other places on the internet. That has helped me (and my husband) prepare as well. Even watching some of the hospital birth videos has reminded me of what I DO NOT want!!!

Also, to think that SO many women have given birth this way since the beginning of time (as opposed to how birth is "done" in hospitals these days) makes me say, "If it can be done, and it obviously can, then I can do it!!!"

I don't know if you're religious or not, but most of my confidence comes from my faith in God. He gave my husband and I this baby and I know that He will guide us and protect us through this. I know that, whatever happens, whatever the outcome, that it is His Will and I accept it as such. Give it to God!

Blessings for your birth,

Alyssa

Permalink Reply by Dania Kabbani Shelton on February 28, 2011 at 1:09pm

Looking at labor and delivering your baby is always a little scary wether it is your first or your 10th. Labor/delivery is a transforming experience and that is nerve racking. I have had 5 children, 4 of which were born at home and I am also a midwife. You will be just fine having a home birth. I would recommend reading anything by Ina May Gaskin she is a terrific writer and an amazing midwife. You should also consider reading VBAC companion it can give you courage to proceed with a Home birth. Good luck and have faith in your body.

Permalink Reply by Sarah Schellhas on February 28, 2011 at 4:41pm

Thank you everyone! I will be getting books by Ina May and I have the VBAC companion on hand! I think another reason why I am a little nervous is because this was a surprise baby. But, some surprises sure turn out great! Thank you everyone for the great advice and I do rely on God for wisdom and confidence as we move forward. I will be posting about my homebirth September-ish! :)

Permalink Reply by Sarah G. on March 2, 2011 at 1:29pm

I just had my first home birth recently, my first was born in the hospital. I can tell you that once you have a home birth, you will not want to go back to the hospital unless there is no other option.

It is the greatest feeling in the world.

I had my own nerves about having the baby at home. Most of it had to do with what was going to happen with my son and being worried about him seeing me and hearing me. Gratefully, my midwives were dead on with the advice they gave me there, about how the older children most often sleep through it. My son slept through it (even with me vocalizing in the bathroom which is RIGHT next to his room!) and when he woke up he had a baby sister.

The best advice I can give is, don't worry too much. I know it's hard to do, but don't. Just keep telling yourself that you are strong and that women are designed to give birth. Your body knows what it is doing. Vocalize with the contractions, give into them completely without fearing them, and do what your baby and body tell you too. You will do wonderfully and you will never regret it. :o)

Nervous first time homebirther

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