What is it like when baby #2 comes?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Cindy Lerner on September 15, 2009 at 7:37am

I don't know if this is standard, but my midwife said not to get pregnant for 2 years so your body has completely healed and you are more likely to have a successful homebirth. I am going to take her advice after having my first baby at home in March of this year. I did feel the same as you though inthe beginning I thought I did not want any more babies an then the itch came to have another one right away and now I've come to my senses and decided that God willing we will get pregnant when our daughter is 2. I'd like the best chance of having a
very healthy pregnancy and another amazing homebirth, so I am willing to wait. I also think that Emerson will adjust so much easier to a sibling when she is old enough to understand what's happening. I think that if you give it some more time you will eventually decide what is best for you and your family.

Permalink Reply by Jessica Marquina on September 15, 2009 at 7:48am

I think everyone's experience is totally different. I am pregnant with my 2nd, and my daughter is 2 years 7 months old. She is really excited to have a sister, but I am totally EXHAUSTED!!! They will be 2 years 9 months apart. We got pregnant right after her 2nd birthday. I think they will be amazingly close and great sisters, just because I have a great relationship with my sister and i know what it means to have a sister. This pregnancy has been a lot harder on me physically... I'm not sure if it's because I am 3 years older, or if it just because each subsequent pregnancy is harder. I would say do what you think is right. If you are really wanting another baby soon, maybe that is what is right for you. I knew that I wanted my kids to be about 3 years apart... and we started trying when our first was 22 months old.

Permalink Reply by Sara on September 15, 2009 at 7:53am

My first 2 are 15 months apart and they're best friends. I was thankful that my oldest was still taking regular naps at the time, as that gave me the chance to get my rest as well, and that was HUGE! I am now 18 weeks pg with #5 and i'm missing my naps! haha If you feel ready, I say go for it! It's going to be challenging when they're both in diapers and not talking much, but the older they get the easier it gets on you too. :)

Permalink Reply by Tiff Fouks on September 15, 2009 at 8:07am

Our first child was 4 by the time our second came along. Personally, I think that it was too long between them and it would've been better if they were 2 years apart. That being said, we waited longer because our first was a preemie and we felt he needed the extra time with just us but I think in the end it made it so that he wasn't so willing to share us. Our first (6-years-old now) was very jealous of our second and even with our second being almost 2-years-old, the boys get into fights over who gets to go with Mommy or Daddy. (I had our first naturally but at a hospital, our second was an unnecessary c-section and our third is a planned homebirth.)

We have our 3rd on the way right now and baby is due January 28th. We weren't going to wait so long to TTC but since I had the c-section I was told to wait 18 months at least before getting pregnant again to have the best chance at a VBAC. I am interested in seeing if our second is more accepting of the new baby due to him being younger when the new baby is born. Like Cindy said, around 2 they can understand better what's going on too... My advice to you is to talk to your midwife and husband to figure out what's best for you, your body and your family.

Permalink Reply by EmilyK on September 15, 2009 at 9:22am

I got pregnant with my second when my first was 7 months old. It was overwhelming at first, but it was so great during the pregnancy, because he was still taking two naps a day. And yes, I also napped during both those times. It was a little rough when the baby came because he was only fifteen months old and he had a hard time. But I think most of that was just his personality, he's not a fan of change. The thing is, he's 2 1/2 now, and my second son is 15 months, and they are growing up together as best friends. It's awesome, plus they are both in diapers at the same time, that's super simple too. I love it, I wouldn't have changed it. In fact, the only thing reason I would have liked a few more months between them would have been to loose the rest of my baby chub.
As far as figuring out when to have another baby, I really don't think it is a brain thing! Some one told me once that there's never a perfect time to have a baby, there's never a perfect time to get married, there's never a perfect time for anything. There's only faith. So have faith! If it's time, it's time, if it's not...well, you get the idea. Much blessings to you!

Permalink Reply by Sara on September 15, 2009 at 9:40am

babies born w/in 11 mos of each other are called "Irish Twins." Because they are so close in age, it is, in a lot of ways much like having twins. You will have 2 babies that cannot walk yet, feed themselves, are nowhere near ready to even begin potty training, and in many cases, aren't fully sleeping through the night all the time yet. Both will be fully dependent on you for everything with no ability to be self sufficient in any way yet. Plus, at under a year, your current child will not be able to logically or emotionally understand the changes that are occuring and the adjustments are a little harder for them to make.

Pregnancy and hormone changes that occur after delivery are very hard on your body. It takes at least a year to fully "recover" and get all your hormones and body systems back to normal after pregnancy. Some docs say wait two years, but all say at least a year. Second babies concieved so close to their sibling have a higher incidence of some birth defects.

Having said that it is entirely possible, and many women do, either accidently or planned, concieve very soon after delivery and everything turns out fine.

My 1st & 2nd are 10 years apart (not planned just happened that way). The benefits--my first got undivided attention and I was able to devote a lot of time to her when she was very young. Plus, she adjusted very well to her brother b/c she was fully able to understand his needs and why he required so much of my time and attention. And she was able to help in alot of ways that reduced my stress and helped them develop a very close relationship--he adores her and she him. The downside--they aren't really growing up together. They aren't playmates like most siblings, although she does play w/him, its not the same. He will be 9 when she goes off to college and she will "miss" half his life at home.

My son is now 3 and will be 4 when the new baby comes. They will be better playmates and will grow up together. He is out of diapers and goes to the bathroom , feeds, dresses, and washes himself. He is able to be somewhat self-sufficient. So, having a new one will be easier b/c I don't have to do everythingfor my son. I wish they were a little closer, like 2 or 3 years instead of 4 but...its better than 10 :)

I believe that in most cases nature has a plan and a reason for all things. nature intends for babies to be Breastfed (formula feeding is a man-made institution). When you are exclusively BFing for the first 6 mos then introduce solids only after that you usually don't start ovulating until the baby is about 9 mos- 1 year old (I said usually there are exceptions) Only then can you get PG. That means that your babies would be 19 mos-2 years apart. I think nature did that on purpose.

Whatever you decide good luck. There is nothing sweeter than a baby.

Permalink Reply by Cindy Lerner on September 15, 2009 at 10:48am

Question on the ovulation while breastfeeding subject: I plan on exclusively breastfeeding for a year before introducing solids. My baby is 6 1/2 months now and I still have not had my period. Will I not ovulate until she starts on solids? Me and my husband don't take any chances anyway, but I was just curious.

Permalink Reply by Brandi Frey on September 15, 2009 at 1:11pm

Interesting...my midwife told me that you typically start ovulating around the same time that your baby starts sleeping through the night or longer stretches at night. She said that those longer periods without breastfeeding do something to your hormones that allow ovulation to take place. And I think she said that you will likely ovulate and not know it because you typically don't have a period in those first couple months of ovulation after having your baby.

Has anyone else heard this? Sounds like there might be some conflicting info/opinions (and I don't know what is correct or if there is a correct answer)...my midwife also didn't discourage me from getting pregnant too early. She said that if a woman's body is ready, she will likely have a healthy pregnancy, and if not, she will likely miscarry. She didn't really give a timeline, rather said that things will basically happen when they are meant to I suppose...

Thank you for all of the interesting comments, there is so much more to think about than I originally thought of. I love hearing all of these different viewpoints. I would love to hear more!

The breastfeeding is definately something I feel strongly about--I want to do it for at least a year. I was reading on the Breastfeeding Group on here about tandem breastfeeding--interesting stuff. Sounds like there can be issues breastfeeding while pregnant, but women are doing it, and even breastfeeding baby 1 and 2 at the same time.

Permalink Reply by Marci For Birth Choice on September 17, 2009 at 7:10am

Hi Brandi,

Ovulation can start once you stop exclusively breastfeeding. And by exclusive, I mean regularly during the day *and* regularly during the night. Also, this means the *only* thing the baby ever eats is mom's own breastmilk...it's got to be truly exclusive. Many women unexpectedly get pregnant because they are breastfeeding during the day but the little one is now sleeping though the night. Once the baby is sleeping through the night, it's best for a woman to consider herself fertile. A woman who's had a baby can get pregnant without getting her period (another common misconception). Once a woman ovulates, which is likely to happen when intense, exclusive breastfeeding stops, she can become pregnant.


If a woman wants to know if she's ovulating - even if she's not yet had her period - she can practice a fertility awareness method (which is pretty inexpensive), and at least observe whether her cervical mucous is of fertile quality or not. FAM have special instructions for breastfeeding women who'd like some insight into when they're ovulating. I'd recommend going to someone rigorously trained in FAM.

Permalink Reply by Kayla Dolan on September 17, 2009 at 11:37am

It is possible to ovulate randomly without a period, I believe. Also, breastfeeding exlusively does not work for everyone...nor does the "solids" or "sleeping through the night" myth. I am a prime example of that. I was pregnant at 5 months PP with #2, 10 mos PP with #3, and 9 mos PP with #4. All of my periods began at around 6-7 wks postpartum and was exclusively breastfeeding from the start with each one. The only one that had started solids by the time I conceived was with baby #2 (at 10 months old). The only one sleeping through the night was #3, when she was 9 months old. So this doesn't apply to everyone.

I am not sure there's research to support the miscarriage idea. However, it does make some sense. I do not exercise and am not the healthiest mom, but had 4 pregnancies very healthily back-to-back. So I can't support that, but it still might be true for some.

Its tough on the body having kids back-to-back, though. I was very tired, chronicly anemic, etc. But, I wouldn't change it for the world. It just made it harder work to take care of myself each day.

Breastfededing while pregnant is different for each woman, as wlel. For me, it did not work out. I am a militant breastfeeder (not really, but it is very important to me). My milk supply died off regardless of my efforts to keep it flowing. My first and second babies just began to reject the breast, crying all day long for something else. My 3rd child, I did everything I could to keep her going. She was nursing 10-12 times a day at 11 months old and her wets were still down to just 1 a day. She was holding out for boob too...she wouldn't take from a sippy or a bottle. Finally, I had to cut her off. As soon as she started taking formula and whle milk, her wets returned to normal. I stopped abruptly without ever pumping and I never once got engorged from it. My milk was just gone.

I think it really depends upon how old the breastfeeding baby is. I have been told that sometimes you just have to get over the "hump" of the estrogen spike. that occurs at about 12-14 wks or so. So, moms who have babies that are not dependent upon breastmilk (i.e. over 12-14 mos of age) are likely able to feed through it and regain supply after the estrogen spike subsides a little. Moms who have children who are 6 and 8 months old still breastfeeding will have to supplement, but might still be able to pull it out.

Permalink Reply by Sara on September 17, 2009 at 11:06am

I did not start ovulating again until my son was 15 months old. He started solids at 6 months. Usually, as long as you are BF frequently and often it supresses ovulation. I didn't have a period for almost 2 years to the day, b/c of PG then BF :) It was great!!!

As far as I know, if you ovulate you have a period. One causes the other. Lack of periods indicate abscence of ovulation. I do know that you ovulate before you "bleed" so if you have ovulated you may not know it. You wouldn't realize you started ovulating again until either you started your period (lucky didn't get PG) or find out you are PG :)

Permalink Reply by Megan Seibert on September 23, 2009 at 8:37am

I never had a period between my first two kids. I got pregnant when my son was 9 months old. No period does not mean no ovulation.

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