Hello there. I just had my first baby on July 15th and it has been very exciting and fun, but at first it was quite the adjustment! At first I felt very overwhelmed, much like I imagine most moms are at first. I have always known I want to have 2 kids, but in the first couple weeks after having my first baby, I was so overwhelmed that the idea of having another baby scared the you know what out of me! I feel much more under control now, and feel like a pro at the whole baby thing.

I am now really getting the itch to get pregnant again, and love the idea of having my kids so close in age. I know I should be thinking about this with my brain too, and not just my heart! I am curious to hear other women's stories about what it is like when the second child comes along, what challenges you face, how long did you wait, what are the pros and cons of having babies very close in age vs. further apart in age, etc. Please share. Thank you so much!!

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Hi Brandi! My second son was born 3 yrs and 3 mo after my first son. My older son was there when his brother was born. He really participated in the pregnancy and visits with our midwife. When his little brother was born he looked at him as his too. It was nice that he was old enough to be able to hold this little baby on his lap. The only downside is that he was so loving with his little brother that he would not fight back and his little brother ended up being the dominate one. Not a bad problem really.
Now these two boys are 15 and 18 and I had my 3rd son 5 months ago. (2nd marriage and my husband and I wanted a child together.) Both of my older boys are very loving and attentive with their new little brother. Another bonus is that they get to see first hand that a baby is lot of work and perhaps this will help make sure they will not make me a grandmother too soon!
I have four kids...under 4 yrs. The first two were 14 months apart. It was difficult, at first. I, like you, thought that I was a pro at baby-raising. Then came #2 and got quite humbled. I knew different things to try for crying, but none of the same things worked for #2 that worked for #1. So, in essence, with each child, it is a whole new learning experience. What I had to learn is to not become so emotional with the crying. I always took it personally with number 1 and tried very hard to ever keep him from crying for any reason. I had to learn to let it go and juggle everyone's tears efficiently. They do not suffer from it. In fact, with so many siblings, there is never a dull day in our house. We always have someone to play with. They are already comrades.

I never wanted two close together like the way the first two were born. However, I began to love it so much. We never planned any more children, but were blessed with two more in the two years that followed the birth of the first two. Its a lot of fun!

Except grocery shopping...grocery shopping is NO fun at all. LOL

There are bodily demands that come with babies close in age. I always suffered with chronic anemia in my pregnancies, but iron helped it out a lot. My babies also got bigger each time.

Another backfire for me is that my milk supply does not survive the pregnancy. It dies at 12 wks and I can't breastfeed through it...believe me I've tried. MY daughter got down to less than 1 wet a day before I gave up.
My first two are 18 months apart. We did not plan it that way, it just happened. They are very close which is nice, but I would have to say that for me, that doesn't outweigh the cons. My son was simply not done being the baby yet when his sister came along, he had huge regressions, he was an active toddler who was into everything and saw me breastfeeding as permission to proceed.

I was completely overwhelmed. I was working outside the home, my husband was working odd hours so that we could use as little outside childcare as possible, my house was more or less a wreck all the time (which I just had to make myself let go), I felt like I was cheating my children out of the mother they were supposed to have. Honestly, I have almost no recollection of the first year of my daughter's life. The other kids ask me "what was my first word?" and I can tell them and I have nothing for her. It makes me very sad.

My youngest is three and a half years younger than my second and it is a great space. They are very close.



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