My Best Birth
People who have experienced, support or are interested in homebirth.
Latest Activity: Jan 18
Started by Nicole A. Tucker, Lic. LCC Jan 18.
Started by Andy Traub. Last reply by maha al musa Aug 7, 2011.
Started by Rebecca Sandstrom. Last reply by Paula Taylor Jul 17, 2011.
Thanks Michelle. We were at the midwife's this morning and how she worded a lot of things really didn't help. Like when he asked flat out "what happens if there is a rupture and she bleeds out, she could die right?" and she was like "well yeah, but it's not that common" and all he hears is that there is a chance (no matter how small) and he is just not willing to take it. In so many ways his attitude is so infuriating to me, but at the same time I have to respect his opinion too (I just wish it were more informed). Also, our two previous experiences (planned c/s and hospital VBAC) were great, so there is no worry in our minds about the type of care we would recieve, if that makes sense. It's not like we had traumatic experiences, I just want to be at home because it makes the most sense to me and also I know how fast my last labour went, I could of stayed home and it would have been fine. He is such a negative "what if" sort of person. He thinks I am being selfish and putting myself and my baby in danger by wanting to be at home. I think it is the risk (out of the many other possible risk) that I would take. I know in my heart it would be fine.
He is so stubborn! Some of our friends had 2 homebirths but I don't think he even wants to talk to someone about it. The VBAC really complicates things too. I asked for the The Business of Being Born (and More Business of Being Born) for Christmas and will make him watch them, and signed up for the midwife info session in January. I don't think he will be swayed though, which is really disappointing. Like I said we have a really good health system here (it's not in like some places where intervention is such common practice) so that makes it harder to convince him of the merits of staying home since the hospital offers much of those same things.
I got my husband on board by having him watch The Business of Being Born with me. I had watched it earlier on my own and knew right away I wanted a home birth (I was 20 weeks along at this point). He was making comments during the movie (the same ones I had made to myself while watching it) so I knew that was a good sign. When the movie was over, he asked me "So you want to do that?" (meaning homebirth) and I at least knew he was open to learning more about it. That was on a Saturday. The following Monday we attended a Homebirth Q&A at a local pregnancy and parenting center. That was terrific and we haven't looked back since. We hired a doula, found a midwife and fired our OB in the next two weeks.
Would your husband be willing to talk with another dad that went through the home birth experience? Maybe you could find a couple that would be willing to talk with the two of you about it.
Thanks Jen. Was your husband always supportive? Mine can't get past the risks. He just keeps saying he wants to be where it is safest. I have a lot of knowledge on the subject and he has none (has done no reading or anything) and he refuses to budge and called me psycho. I am having a hard time explaining my feelings to him (on a side note, we have such a wonderful health system here and the hospital is a great place to give birth, so I can't say things like I want to be comfortable, want privacy, minimal intervention etc because we get all those things at the hospital). I just think it would be so lovely to be at home. I had such a wonderful VBAC, it just makes sense to me to stay at home.
Martina, I have not had an HBAC yet, but am planning to when this baby is due the end of February. My husband and I are so excited. I was 20 weeks along when we decided to switch from my OB to the care of a midwife and started planning a home birth.
Has anyone had an HBAC? I was really hoping to at least consider having this third baby at home, but my husband is adament that he will not allow it. I have already had one successful VBAC (and laboured at home until transition so went very smoothly) and have so much faith that home is where I want to be, but he just thinks it's way too risky. Was hoping to hear from anyone who has had a HBAC.
Elissa,I didn't have a water birth ( i was too hot and sweaty after 39 hours of back labor and it took two more to push her out...i was planning to but thats not how it went. I have a huge tub i was going to use. I might try a birthing tub next time though; i may have more success!) but my answer about the legal stuff is:My midwife filled out a form with all the info and submitted it...the social security card came in the mail, but i have to order a birth certificate from the state. Supposedly i was supposed to give it 6 weeks before ordering so the record of her birth would be entered.Thats all i can say... I live in VA so i don't know if the process is the same everywhere.
(deleted and reposted for clarity)
Elissa, I had a water birth. After the birth my husband used the plastic hose to siphon the water out our bedroom window. It sounds kind of funny/gross, but it worked really well. It only took about 20 mins to empty. We couldn't siphon it into the bathtub because it was level to the tub, the hose needed to be facing down so it could drain.
My midwife took care of the birth certificate. We got it signed by a notary and two other people, sent it in, and the state mailed the s.s. card to us.
I had wanted to have a home birth after my experience at the hospital with my first baby. It was not bad, but I want my next birth to be more comfortable and relaxed. So it turns out, I am going to need to get my decisions squared away sooner than later. We are expecting!
For those that have had a home birth, I assume most (if not all) were water births. Which is what I would be doing. But I have some silly questions that I feel sort of stupid asking.
1 - What do you do with the water after the birth? How do you get it out of the tub (if I use one of those inflatable ones)?
2 - How do the legal matters work? (social security, birth records) I am sure the midwife takes care of a lot of that but I'd like to hear other mothers experiences.
I do plan on doing some reading and book buying, but those are just 2 questions that I just have to know now. Haha!
Thanks for all your help!
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