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Comment by Meredith Paige Browning Lovell on August 13, 2010 at 1:54pm
Thank you ladies. Your words of encouragement mean a lot to me. I can stand my ground but DH is a people pleaser so it's harder for him. This is my first pregnancy and birth and want to only positive energy around me. She had both of her boys C-Section and is an RN so I know she will be giving "medical" advice and just making me feel uncomfortable in my own home. The people I have asked to be there (my sister, mother and best friend) are all supportive, positive and I feel will make me feel at ease. They also know me well enough that if/when I tell them to get out, not touch me or leave, they won't have their feelings hurt or throw a temper tantrum. My other sister and family and friends aren't hurt or upset by not being invited to the birth, they are able to respect my choices and don't see why she has to make it all about her. I think we will take the suggestion and not announce when I'm in labor (unexpected guest would not be welcome) and just let them know when the baby arrives.
Comment by Marci For Birth Choice on August 13, 2010 at 3:41am
I agree Meredith - this is your birth. The same people who throw a fit if they can't be at the birth are probably the same folk who will start stressing you and your husband out with unending questions if you don't dilate quickly and birth the baby super quickly. But I'm sure you want nature to take its course, and give your body time. I finally broke the news to my dad yesterday that I only wanted my husband, my sister, and the midwives to be with me during the birth; everyone else could only come after the baby is born. Of course, my dad was fine with this and said this was what he had expected. I know he'll make sure that my wishes are respected, despite the fact that mom would've liked to be around for the birth. I asked him to keep mom calm and he chuckled; I know that he knows why I've set things up the way I have lol! If the labor takes longer than anticipated, or a complication arises, my mom will be a basket case, so this arrangement is best for my labor and for her relaxation too.
Comment by Darcel on August 12, 2010 at 3:27pm
This is not about her! All the more reason to not have her at the birth. This is YOUR birth and YOUR baby. You need and want relaxation.
Stand your ground and invite her to come after the baby is born.
Comment by Cherylyn on August 12, 2010 at 9:51am
Meredith, it's your labor and birth. You can reassure your MIL that she'll get to see the baby after the birth, but that you need privacy for such an intimate occasion. Is it her first grandchild? When I was having my first baby (first grandchild for my parents) everyone wanted to be there, and some people showed up uninvited. I learned to not tell anyone I was in labor unless I needed them there, and that way they don't get anxious and want constant updates or show up unexpectedly. Everyone gets a phone call after the birth. It's your birth, and you should honor yourself by having the right support there.
Comment by Meredith Paige Browning Lovell on August 12, 2010 at 7:35am
So, we told my MIL that we did not want her at the birth but she was more than welcome to come visit afterward. Yesterday, when DH went up to pick up things from their house his mother threw him a HUGE guilt trip and cried the entire time. She said she feels she will never see her grandchild, she doesn't think it's fair that she can't be there for the birth etc. Ughh. I really don't think I have to compromise. I want to be comfortable, feel safe and enjoy my birth.
Comment by Kassedi on August 4, 2010 at 7:52am
congrats jessica your baby boy is beautiful!
Comment by Gina on August 3, 2010 at 5:44pm
congratulations!!! amazing!
Comment by Darcel on August 2, 2010 at 5:58pm
Jessica, that was an amazing birth story. Congrats on your baby! Loved the pictures of you in labor.
Comment by Jessica Fox on August 2, 2010 at 5:48pm
So my home birth plans changed at the last minute as I ended up with an ambulance ride and emergency C-section but at least I got to enjoy over 24 hours of natural labor at home the birth story can be found at
Comment by Meredith Paige Browning Lovell on July 22, 2010 at 9:42am
My mom has been very supportive of the entire process and even met with my midwife before we conceived. She has even gone so far as to offer to let us have the birth at her house. She had all 3 of us natural but in the hospital. I think the thing that is hardest for her is seeing one of her babies in some sort of "pain" and not being able to fix it. When I hurt my mom hurts.
My mother in law is the one that is the issue. Her mother was a nurse midwife and she is a nurse. She is somewhat supportive of the home birth process but has a habit of "my medical knowledge is what is right." She also is a heavy smoker and drinker which is why I am SO VERY uncomfortable. My husband would love to have his dad there (which I am fine with0 but you can't invite one and not the other. She makes me feel so uncomfortable and unsafe which is why her presence wouldn't be welcome.

I don't feel I could open and progress as well with those feelings weighing on me. It's breaking the news that I don't want t o do but as you said Brandi, I think if I just don't call it could cause further issues in the long run. Maybe I'll just talk to my midwife and ask her to take the "blame" for not having people there. I'm sure she'll be fine with that. :)

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