An Evening with Ricki & Abby

I was on my up to Babies in Bloom in Vista and hit serious traffic. Ambulances, cops and fire trucks crawled through the cars and while sending the people in the accident safe thoughts, I knew I was going to be late to the VIP Event for Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein. They were both in town for a showing of "" at the Krikorian Theater, also in Vista. I called Rochelle McLean, the owner of B&BThe Business of Being Born and a local Lactation Consultant, telling her I didn't think I was going to get there before the party was over, so I would probably meet them at the theater. Once we passed the accident, I knew I was going to make it and puzzled at why the GPS said I was still an hour away. It suddenly dawned on me that I had forgotten to set my GPS back for Daylight Savings Time. Sheesh.

When I got to B&B, there were already women in line to get in once the doors open. There were at least 15-20 women already inside, some helping to set up and others, hanging around chatting. I joked that there were two groups; those on the inside and us, on the outside. We wanted in, too!

Once the doors opened, we all gave our names and received a bright pink wristband. A great bag of swag was given to each woman.

B&B was set up beautifully! Great trays of hor d'oevres and a beautiful cake were spread across several tables. Champagne, lemonade and water were at another service station (and that one was busy!). Everyone at B&B was wonderful and no one seemed to want for anything.

A Silent Auction's goods were displayed in the center of the room; beautiful baskets and sweet gifts awaited the highest bidder. That table was decorated sweetly, too.

It’d cost anywhere from $15 (for the movie) to $60 (super VIP) for the tickets to the event. Money was being raised for The Business of Being Born Educational Outreach Project, ICAN and the San Diego Birth Network. About $8000 was made!

In a small side room, several women took turns hugging and thanking Ricki and Abby. I had to take control of some friends who were nervous, but wanted to have a picture with the two celebrities (who don't act like divas at all) and made people get close to them for photos. I know that today, they are darn glad I nudged them into a picture.

Ricki and Abby took a few minutes to tell everyone what they are working on and how the movie was changing people’s lives. We were told the film had been edited down to about 28 minutes and is being distributed to schools and colleges around the country in an effort to reach men and women before they even consider having children. A follow-up movie will be out in the spring; I can’t wait!

Once at the theater, I was thrilled to see the number of women filing in. Being held in a full-size auditorium, it was easily 90% full by the time the movie began. Those of us who’ve been begging the women to bring their movie to San Diego knew we could fill a theater!

The movie was shown and oo’s, ah’s, laughter, applause and groans were heard in all the places I’d heard them before. (This was about my 25th time to see it.) It was great to hear how affected women were by what was being said on the screen.

Afterwards, the panel (including me) assembled in the front with Ricki & Abby and began to field questions. On the panel was Dr. Robert Biter (“Dr. Wonderful”), Susan Melnikow, CNM and Catharine Miller, LM. Michelle Freund, LM was scheduled and made it to the VIP Event, but was called to a birth, so Catharine filled in for her.

Women came up to a microphone and asked questions about insurance coverage, the realities of a natural birth in the hospital and a couple of women sharing their own experiences while also thanking not only Ricki and Abby, but also Dr. Biter. I swear the entire auditorium had him as their OB/GYN.

Dr. Biter spoke about his birth center (Babies by the Sea) which will open in 2010, explaining it would be a combination birth center where women could birth unhindered as well as a surgery center for those that required a cesarean. He wants a place free of the politics of birth and an alternative for women who seem to have none. Part of his Healing Center will include complementary and alternative healing modalities. He is also committed to offering low or no-income women a way to birth if they don’t qualify for Medi-Cal. Women will be able to apply for help and in return for a birth, they will be assigned to a community organization where they’ll fulfill service equivalent to the cost of the birth. (Isn’t that the best idea?!) I hugged him for the whole audience who applauded him wholeheartedly.

In the previous showing I attended in Orange County, women were more ruthless in their questioning, asking Abby about bottle feeding Matteo (she struggled with nursing for months and because of his size, required supplemental feeding [the bottle] for longer than expected), asking why the movie ended with Abby’s birth instead of another homebirth (they wanted to demonstrate that all homebirths don’t end at home… showing that a midwife did know what to do in an emergency… and providing a balance to all the avoid-the-hospital-unless-you-absolutely-need-it with a real reason why to go) and listening as Ricki and Abby divulged one hospital’s derision at a showing in their auditorium. By contrast, this audience was easy-going and not nearly as emotional. Perhaps because so many already had Dr. Biter as their doctor!

The Q&A ended and the procession of adoring fans found their way to the front to thank the two women who have become, as one questioner aptly stated, lightning rods for the transformation of birth in America.

A highlight for me was gathering my Facebook Friends together for a photo shoot. Throughout the event, light bulbs were flashing like crazy! I’m sure we’ll see loads of pics of the evening.

The whole night was wondrous!

Thanks to everyone who made the night amazingly special for me and so many others. Thank you Rochelle, Babies in Bloom, PacifiCord (a giant sponsor), San Diego Birth Network and all the others I have forgotten to mention; you all were fabulous! I know Ricki and Abby were delighted with the turn-out. And so was I.